today's message

every relationship rests on three legs: accepting, supporting and challenging

You want your relationships to be grounded on accepting each other as you are. On supporting each other through the inevitable ups and downs. On challenging each other to become more, to grow, to flourish. Which one of these is the more difficult one for you, and how are you going to practice it in the next 24 hours?

What will I do without you?

A lot. You said. so I did.

but when bad times come around, I couldn't tell you

and when great things happen, it didnt seem that great when I could tell everyone but you

when it comes to guys

who want to be involved romantically with you, don't listen to anything they say. Just pay attention to what they do.

just a flip of the page away

it took me less than 1 minute to take down/keep away the photos so that my place can be neutral again. and I thought I had brought all the letters back to Singapore. But then I discovered one under the telephone, my itchy fingers opened it and I read it, and then the days when my room had companions came back to me. and the sunny weather reminded me of our picnic. and it hurt. just a little more

I miss you because

when you were around my pens always had refills.

Inert

As people grow up, we start to deal with things, some of which hurt us, some of which make us happy, some that deeply affect us. A lot of times the same things affect us differently

my lack of response is almost always explained as denial

the first death I had to deal with was my grandma. she was having a difficult time. when she left, all the grand children weren't there. i was 15. i remember trying to make myself cry because it seemed like it was the right thing to do. maybe all those scriptures we had to chant was good at numbifying me. i was upset, but i didn't intensely feel a sense of loss

and then I was 18 and there was a death in the next door class. a suicide. i didnt feel upset at all. maybe i was caught up with my own issues

and then a break up

and then a couple of days ago an accident. we certainly knew each other. but we weren't close. we shared lots of mutual friends. and therefore it is all over my facebook feed. and my first reaction was, things happen, a lot of the times they cant be expected. so we just move on like we have a long time more to live, whether that is really true or not, you'll only know at the turn of the next corner. no i'm not grieving, i don't think i am.

remember 500 days of summer? remember summer? maybe when you come from a dysfunctional family/live through a particularly turbulent bit of family troubles, everything feels insignificant, because it is quickly learnt that nothing is permanent, some less so than others