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C n Y

should have blogged this 2 nites ago but nvm. last nite trying to mug bio and econs (tho i ended up barely mugging bio and din even touch econs). nite before busy wif street CIP thingums. so difficult to stay awake to burn hiphop songs. so not me la..i used to listen to pop hiphop and high things to keep me bouncing and awake hahaha. 人老了.. what can i say..lol

anyways.this new year got sister clan gathering! at first i thot was class gathering one. but turn out is just sisters. aiya sister clan always end up only me justina jiahui and lincoln leh. lincoln isnt even a sister. but how jiahui too attractive liao, lincoln+jiahui=inseparable HAHAHA we play mahjong, eat lincoln's wonderful food and did econs essay. lol so fun la. my brain is no works properly that day so anyhow suan4 tai2.. and i was supposed to abstain from horrible food cos of my horrible throat (haha still haf quite a sexy voice now lehs hahaha) but doritoes rock XP lol what happened to my ability to resist temptation?! haha lincoln made zaii food! bak kut teh + cheese baked rice + herbal chicken ahhh zaiiii.. and also got some veges la we not that carnivorous. oh yes yes justina says must post pictures!

^^everyone looks happy making jiahui our food lol

lincoln also made nice brownies! complete wif haagen daz rum raisin ice cream! my throat died.. haha not bad..justina and i help to do econs essay and we get nice brownies. lol rocks!

**

today ruth and i ran 2km! haha feel so accomplished. so long never run liao feels good to run. and then after that feel my sweat drip drip and then do stomach exercise haha. but dunno why. look mirror like getting fatter =( so sad la..ppl can eat less exercise more and grow thin. but i eat less exercise more also reman this size or grow bigger.. i dun think i exercise that much to grow muscles wat. the amount of dance i do is not like uber a lot..still cannot grow thin. haii. went to measure my tummy and butt haha.. i beat justina! =D

At the beginning

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.

suddenly so into disney songs..loves anastasia and lion king! <3<3 haha!

take.5

din even intend to go for take.5. no need to go liao since no responsibility to be judge or taking part in event. sumore ruth and my sister clan people all busy with sth, and siok prolly wun come. in horrible mood in the night la..my daddy dun let me play mahjong -_- even had my letter ready. slept uber early, then autowake up at 7.. so decided i'll go and support benny and experiment wif my hp's video function. heh my lousy phone can only video 20 secs at a time..gave up videoing.. on one hand cos my hp plthed and on the other hand i wanted to watch! =p really some zai shit la

after take.5 went out wif sister clan. watched bball. then emily had to zao and the bus took too long to come. we went for some seafood soup place and jiahui wanted to treat us to dessert. where i had nice aloe vera and sea coconut. went taka's nike shop =D=D=D saw Boa!! so chioo.. take pictures!!!! haha purposely go there to take pictures one hehehe

then justina and i decided to be piggy and go eat CNY samples haha. got bengawan solo goodies =D=D and then got seaweed stuffs, honey comb biscuits hehe so happy haha we went to admire royce chocs and then wen pool. ahaha first time i pool leh. not bad. the balls actually went in =D justina says: look pro. lol it works! until quite late liao then go back. ok la made me feel happier after my dad refusing to lemme play mahjong last nite.

**

maybe i should blog a bit about vday also. so many flowers in the school. 百花齐放 haha. lincoln wrapped ms nair nice bunch of roses. picture on my class blog. justina had a box of love:

jiahui got sleeping pigs. and i took a picture with my brother haha but i look unglam and messy in that pic so i wun post it HAHA gerald gave me flower but like all real flowers that die, i think its in its later stages now. (haii my fingers are red..no tinge of green in them. plants in my hands never fail to die prematurely) so its upside down and hopefully it will dry nicely =p

reading

reading gp is good. it has made me more aware. i think it has. or at least more informed..despite the lag. history is quite an exciting subject. then look at all the intl relations.

aieesh anyway. i think doing CIP here is very weird. although the kids we are working with are apparently low income families, somehow i feel like theres sth not quite right. and its not only recently that i hear about such stuffs. i always thot that kids from low income families will be the first to learn that following material and fashion trends are but empty superficiality, since they are supposed to be deprived. everyone has handphones by p3, with fancy hp dangling things. everyone wears converse or adidas shoes, everyone carries zinc bags, everyone has a nike bottle.. i always thot that compared to their peers, deprived kids will learn to grow up faster. maybe i was wrong. or maybe its because of the environment that they live in. perhaps one that i will never get to understand. maybe they live in an environment where non-conformist renders you an outcaste. so for those who do not possess such things, do not go for manicures, do not have an inclination for fashion and material stuff, they really dun fit in.. and to fit in, one must posess such goods and put on a character that is in line with the rest of the peers. so maybe its not their fault that they seem so spoilt and demand for branded look good stuff. maybe its cos of the society they are in. and wen we go for CIP, tuitioning or what not, as a senior who is supposed to help them, i get very tempted to want to change them, change their attitudes, but i haf no idea how ><

gahh

i wish i can understand old people better. i so pissed off at my grandparents for making my dad's life so difficult. i mean. based on one small matter make the conclusion that he's not respectful, and then refuse to consider the other times when he had to wei3 qu1 or like did things that showed more respect and care than anything. but they just see the bad things.. i certainly hope this whole issue is not cos i forgot to address them during a family outing and then them coming to petty conclusions. this issue better not be the root cause of how my dad got into this kind of shit. i will tear myself apart. been watching my parents trying to satisfy my grandparents for all my life and they just seem to get pettier and pettier and nth will make them happy. ughhhhh

miss 3 days of school!

wonderful! lol feels so wonderful to miss 3 days of school. and cos in lab generally a lot of waiting time so dun really need to use brain.. except i think on monday i'll be kinda dead wif amount of hw to catch up on again.. i better finish all that i have now.. hw status now: still haf bio tutorials, GP essay, maths 11B and chem 16. which still feels like a lot.

yesterday went for cousin's 21st bday party at some club in bukit batok. the club very happening leh..got 3 weddings going on at the same time and a number of other events. there was nice cheese cake!and the place was filled with her frens from sec sch to jc as well as relatives. then she had nice buffet also. aiya anyway she ask me to dance for her so i went home to burn cd but so anticlimaxly..in the end i forgot like half the song la... like SH*******T. felt like redoing it but decided against it..later forget again then X_X. lol feel like a lil 14 year old doing dance..and then all the 21 year olds everywhere. haha then later she got her frens to come up to sing for her and then we just wu liao and eat cake. haha dunno why last nite felt like singing karaoke. haha my dad and me. but then my bro at home 10 pm waiting for us to bring food back for him. so mydad and i cannot go singing hahaha..ahhh i'm craving for kboxing. no i think not. i'm craving for karaoke at home. and sing all the old old A-mei and xu ru yun and xu meijing's songs. cos xian of singing new songs le. and at home chang zou yin also nobody care nobody know. but sad la.. only my dad and i sings. everyone else in the house no sings =( maybe wait for one day wen i own the house again, and they all go some other overseas place, i will do my own karaoking at home. close windows curtains and doors on aircon on surround sound and on full screen TV. *dreams*

the evil SATs

I absolutely shouldn’t be blogging rite now, with econs essay undone and maths tutorial undone and due tomorrow. but I’m seeing so many ppl getting so stressed up esp in this week with upcoming SATs in 2 days time. and I’m getting kinda worried for people… its like over this week people are like in this still kinda mood and everyone is like quietly boiling over.

And these 2 weeks been so hectic for street I’m so thankful for every streeter who has come down to help out during trial session and during interviews. Special thanks to emme ruth sheena who’s been organising so many things and getting so stressed and tired. when ruth came to find me today I thought, omg ruth needs a rest… and sheena just told me she’s having SATs on Saturday and she’s been so busy with all the arranging of interviews and all. and I only found out today that she having SATs.. oh my. really thank the organising ppl for all your tenacity and your willingness to come down and help and sacrifice stuff for street. and wat I’ve heard is that simin and sheena still organising more stuffs for j1s.. like O_O and simin and clarice has got SATs too!

and everyone been bugging me like how to mug for SATs and how to calculate score and stuff..and I just wanna tell them not to freak and stress so much. this pressure cooker world in RJ is really quite scary. so mind blowing that it takes ppl of great strength to keep sane. if this is going to happen for SAT II in may/june I will just freak out and die. and for the whole of the last 2 weeks, SAT is probably the most evil word around school. people pon school to mug SATs.. and teachers continue to pile work on us and we’re like terribly lagging. must seriously unlag myself. all ppl out there pls get enough sleep and take care of yourselves. I’m sure this will all pass soon. to all taking SATs this sat, jiayou jiayou! I’m sure u’ll do fine. just be patient and careful =)

heh..and we’ll have a little while to rest, before the SPAs come. ><

stagnated

OH MY O_O I’m sure I write a whole lot of stuff then I highlight and all DISAPPEAR! what the… ahh now I shall slowly try to remember what I wrote hmph. [lol I remember I have yet to show gerald tt expression hah!]

ok so here goes..
this place been super dead arh.. like hj says..dead like zombie XD schools only started for 20 days and I already craving for a break to unlag myself.
last week been the tiringest week. maybe its cos I’m growing old. somehow I remember that in sec4 there seemed to be more things to handle and I still somehow lived through it “properly”. but ruth says that there comes a time when u have so many things to do that you don’t really worry about late homework/late proposals/late presentations anymore. and since I’m still worrying about undone homework, I should still be handling fine. lol how optimistic. I think its good to brace yourself. over the last weekend I slept like pig and these 2 days managed to stay awake and finish up what I need to do. last week was so bogged down with non-work things that I KO so uncontrollably, that zombie also cannot wake me. [lol whats with the stupid rhyme] then got so pissed off at myself that my mum decided I had ‘turned bad’ [sounds like food expired..] and became defiant cos I din sleep properly for 3 days, left the comp and lights on twice, and was angsting for 3 days. what a fallacious conclusion. then start imposing unreasonable and inefficient “solution methods” like coping my hp and switching off internet at 11pm, get me pissed off to substantiate their ‘turned bad’ argument only. heh but 至少 over liao.
so my theoretically 2 month (in reality 3 month) attachment is finally going to end tomorrow. its like 又喜又悲 cos I’ll be meeting my attachment frens again! and I dun need to come back lab again! but also it’s the last time I see them and last time I will see my lab ppl also. tomorrow last day going to be quite 壮观 I see those big tables, pro poster boards, nice cloth and ribbons and flowers in the foyer of the labs. wah really some big event. I better not screw up tomorrow. hope that nothing weird will happen to me and ppl dun fall asleep in my chim chim presentation. sounds quite chim to me, but that’s the way my mentor wants it so heh. and I hope I dun look like a lego block tomorrow. blazer always make me look like rectangle. =S
tomorrow I not going school. feel suddenly liberated. like 内心的欲望终于实现 [why do i have a feeling some words i used here haf wrong connotations...><]. then can finally sit down and sort my work out. been feeling like telling teacher I dun wanna attend tutorial cos I haven’t really prepared and ask if can have another tut session wif teacher but then like the teacher got a lot of time liddat. I should just sort myself out. at least tml I can reach home earlier..like 6pm, then can start reading notes, and doing maths chem. tutorial, and must prepare for econs case study econs essay, GP compre test and hand in bio prac. all the Wednesday due things push back to thurs. lol wish me luck on thurs. hah..
by this weekend prolly J1 streeter list will be out. must go confirm their activities after interview fast fast. still have CIP that must get started. and ruth is uncontactable -_- poor girl I think she also very tired. shes reached the “don’t really worry about late homework/late proposals/late presentations” stage but she seems to be sitting there quite comfily lol. ok tt sounds quite bad. I’m sure she’ll pull herself out of there soon.

ms nair is my new ct. I think we’re so lucky to have her. but dunno how many in the class truly feel blessed to get her. shes like heavensent angel. [got classes so sad to have “lost” ms nair to us..] always feel quite sad for teachers that (suddenly) get my class cos its quite a difficult to handle class. and I like her inspiring quote thing. you are better than you think you are – if only you try. at the end of the year we can do like a quote book from ms nair. live like its your last day, learn like its your first. so hard to live like its my last day. I always seem to be living for tomorrow, cos will just keep planning for tomorrow’s stuffs. and with lagging notes, I start telling myself theres always tomorrow to cover that. lol.what if tomorrow never comes… [choi! choi! how can talk such rubbish!]
lolls I just took a break from preparation for tomorrow. I shall go back and continue writing my cards. and I better not forget my chocs tomorrow. update more another time.

一年过去了

感觉好像走了一段很长很艰苦的路，流了好多的汗血，得来的谁都看不见，只有自己心领
这段路，还要走多远...

christmas eve

have been gone for quite while..

these 2 weeks quite eventful..rain, flood, late nite dance pracs, choreoing, music mixing, having class party, gift making, shopping, chatting, and craving for happy feet =S i din find time to record after all. haha sad i din take the chance to do that while my family was away

ruth came over last friday. we watched Bi and luo zhi xiang's concert dvd. rocks. except i was too tired to be high or like take notice of the dance steps. and theres a log cake sitting in my fridge feeling quite leng3 luo4. lol we dunno wat to do with it. how do u eat that big house thing lol. i bet ruth was eyeing it. think she's always starving at my house. then must always tell her to bring food lol. then in the morning go market together haha

dance pracs been quite tiring..last weds thurs sat sun. reach home 11 plus 12 liddat. then ruth take over..and i go mix music. think i never mix music so quickly before. finish in one nite..then this week only went for one friday morning. since there wasnt much to do in the lab. feel like a lump of lard already.

my date with jeanette up till now still havent go. seems like cant find a common time. and the weather always foils our plans.. must find some day go cycling or sth..pffff..

wednesday was class party. our class parties were never really successful..but this time i thot it wasnt too bad. we had more ppl than usual and we played crappy games. and we had lots lots lots of food. i hope it isnt too much burden on our class treasury.. looking at the amount of food i wonder how much they spent getting the food. i was getting pasta and fried rice and lousy me couldnt find the normal pasta thingy in carrefour. can only find the weird overseas brands one XP organic pasta some more omg.. and i couldnt find the canned mushrooms! haha i think thats so funny..cant help laughing at myself.. the carrefour at PS just has weird arrangement. we had duck and little octopuses and there was nice dessert and chicken and salad. yes we had like a lot a lot a lot of food. which we of course couldnt finish. i dunno how we got rid of them in the end. anyway i brought back pasta and fried rice..which settled my maid's and my lunch and dinner for the next few days. so yes i've been eating my lunches and dinners.

had sherlyn over yesterday. to eat pancakes lol. my brother couldnt find the maple syrup wen we went carrefour for breakfast shopping the last time so we made do with honey. ahh pancakes rock. they smell nice look nice taste nice lalala.. and we had a video feast also. converted sherlyn into a Boa fan lol. yes Boa is good =D and also showed her M's stuffs and se7en and hyori haha. been occupying myself and not getting emo or angsty..maybe soon but not yet =)

eek..school's starting soon. yux i wan more time to prep for countdown and look for nice outfits...

自己住

my family is going overseas tomorrow night. feels quite exciting to be at home alone (and feel like the house is mine) but not as exciting as it should be leh haha. maybe ask frens to come over to 陪我 at night. parents not around can dun go home early also =p go out and play after work lol went carrefour yesterday to buy breakfasts for the next 12 days. think i'll be lazy to eat properly or buy breakfast the nite before.. scully i lazy to eat dinner also. hope i dun leave the labs too late then all the dinner places no more food. that'll be quite sad. and there better be emergency food at home so if come home late i can cook for myself haha.. i should come up of a list of things to do while my parents are away. think i'll wanna sing n dance more than ever but my ankle liddat prolly cant go dance also. lousy me made my ankle hurt a lil more after dance prac yesterday. i rock. n my music mixing prog just expired.. so i cant sing v much also..>< sad

ladida

guess wat
i'm blogging for the lab. and look at the time. lol. to be blogging from the labs at this time could mean 2 things - that i am waiting for results O_O like i dunno.. running gel or digestions.. OR i'm done and am waiting for my parents to come. today it is [rarely and happily] the latter =) yay

been leaving the labs so late lately. but the bus is always still rather crowded. the bus i takes go from harbourfront down west coast road pass NUS and then down to clementi,bkt batok, then my house. and maybe its cos its the hols and many ppl go shopping or sentosa to play and go home late, the bus is always still rather full even though i leave at like 9 or later. and without fail i will definitely find this 2 seater occupied by a sleeping kid wif another kid sleeping on the mum's lap. but i dun get pissed at that tho, even if the bus is really really crowded. somehow the kid seems to need to sleep more than one of the standing ppl need to sit o.O and everyone on the bus really seems to be in their own little music bubble. yesterday i saw this mum wif her 2 sons, prolly abt sec4 sec1, and all three had their own set of earphones connected to their personal ipod/hp/mp3... i could only tell they were a family when the mum started talking to her sons.. showing them some sms/picture on her hp or sth.

and NUS is not so deserted at night also. i see the arts or business ppl at the bus stop that i walk pass wen walking to the public bus stop outside. and theres usually ppl in the lab. but tonite i am the only person in the lab. [which explains why blogging on their computer suddenly became legal..] lol i hope my parents come soon. it is rather eerie now cos the lights are partially off..

*

ok bad. i din hang up the phone properly so my parents couldnt call me and i waited. and my dad came up to my lab to find me. so pissed at myself for making my parents go through so much trouble. ughugh.

n it is 12 am now. i am to haf started mixing. everynite i come home and tell myself to mix music and i dun mix it. and i spend time brooding over things i dun even know abt. like just feel so down over i know not wat and spend time feeling down. such a dumb thing to do yet i cant stop myself from doing tt. ugh. snap out of it and start working aiyaiyai

finished

my sats is over and i think..finished. lol..ok now its time to move on..

went back for dance prac after sats.. but my brain numbed state allowed me to choreo some ugh shit.. super no inspiration. and wen i went back, my ma said wanna go vivocity.. wah really 人挤人. i think vivo still gets quite a big number of visitors on weekends even though its been around for a while. and day before yesterday was its official opening sumore. then walk around the whole place. i think we scoured every shop there. but my family ish e best shoppers. we din buy anything! lol really see no touch lol and i'm suddenly very tempted to watch happy feet! ahhh..it looks v cute! hehehe [yesh i still haf an inclination for cartoon movies =p]

and after a whole day of standing/walking. my ankle is officially swollen. yesh one side has a lump there, unlike the other side. and its painful to squat.. =( cos last saturday, i, being the lousy and clumsy person tt i am, missed a step on the bus, and landed hard on my ankle..so its been kinda weak..and now, it rocks. ouch.

today 心血来潮 decided to clear my room. feel so proud of myself. my ma says: "wah 终于见地了" [she was referring to my floor and my table top] lol. and i am proud to say, I FOUND THE ANT NEST IN MY ROOM LIAO =D=D=D=D wonderful. maybe now there wun be so many ants around. lalala. now i haf my econs and gp file to tend to. and everything else is in order! congratulate me =D

and today, i finally discarded most of my PW things. feel so happy to discard them hehe. left oni the final EOM, WR and OP to look pretty hehehe. then threw away all the drafts that had scribbling all over. and put the rest nicely in one folder =)

i think next time wen i clear my room, i should wear a mask. otw cannot breathe. everytime i clear my room, i get a double block. ie my nose. its like trickling the whole day, cannot breathe, cannot blow. can oni sniff, but it still drips lol.

feels like a lot of things off my back liao. now haf the 2 CIP projs and my lab proj. i sincerely hope my transformations will start working. i haf a feeling my E.Coli already has ampicillin resistance before i even add the plasmid in. so my control plates grow so much E.Coli its nearly lawn. and next time, maybe i should adjust the amt of enzyme i use based on concentration instead of just following protocol. aieesh. must jiayou for my proj. and hope i finish it. may luck be with me. [ok maybe not only luck, but pls oh pls let my transformations start working =(]

and may i soon get inspiration for mixing the song. theres only ONE MORE MTH left! and we only haf 1 1/2 mins worth of dance! omg..

><

why. i feel so overloaded.

i'm highly irritated that i'm not getting my results. its the 4th week le. and theres only 4 more weeks left. and i am not happy with my progress. and i am still having problem with my initial stages of the project. i cant get my yeast (or E.coli for that matter) correctly transformed. and i dunno why i am getting contamination everywhere.maybe i should consider the use of a lab coat.. and everyone seems so busy. i feel like i'm a burden to my mentor and like my failure to transform properly and keep having to redo each stage of the transformation is making him rather disappointed. well at least it is making me very disappointed. and theres only 4 more weeks. i sincerely hope that by the end of the 8 weeks i can happily present a project that i did and not rely on my mentor and present his findings. i am bloody worried. i wish i can spend all my time in the lab 9 to 9 so that i can right all my wrongs and finish up the project. BUT i need to come back to mug...

i wish i din have so many things to do in the hols..i feel that i hadnt spent enough time mugging for my h3 and havent spent enough time mugging for my SATs which is in some dire straits... my english is so lousy that my math cant help pull my score up enough.and there are other commitments too, and i really wanna go back to school to speak to teachers so that i can get details of CIP stuffs sorted out but EVERYONE is busy and out of town and basically CIP projects that start in the hols probably cant get any substantial grounds to start properly. ugh wth am i talking abt. the proposal just cant get approved la... the teacher mentor is almost always not around. and wen she is around, nobody is free to see her. i bloody hate dragging CIP proposals. we break records dragging proposals for 1 month. i hope the class cip proposal thingy wun drag so long. its already been dragging...[and postponing things dun mean we can slack wth. its so that we have enough time to figure out stuff and not like SLACK AWAY and wait for time to pass..14dec is not tt far ugh] and 3rd dec is coming. ie ruth is coming back. and music is supposed to have been mixed. and most of the choreo done. oh my shit. i can just about explode now.

爱失控

时间
一分一秒被偷走
所谓的永久
被曾经取代后
变成恶魔
手里握着多余的温柔
独自反复思索
收藏保留
随风飞走
说来轻松

自由
是否会比较好过
原来没有
成全的背后
总有痛苦在招手
记忆停留在最初时候
星光已不再闪烁
无话可说
继续走
还是朋友

让你走
我的爱失控
藏在幸福快乐的背后
是我
逃避退缩
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
是非对错不想再多说
眼神交会时候
出卖承诺
泪在留

想通
躲在黑暗的出口
难以捉摸
是缘份的作用导致失控
还是孤独一时的冲动
抹去爱情轮廓
故事内容
谁补充
安静的尘封

世界的旋律因你而转动
就算再失控
落空
音符交织感动
就够

让你走
我不再是我
感受不到心跳的触碰
占有
转眼成空
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
徘徊梦中模糊脸孔
遗留在角落
不再轻易
地经过

wahh..this mv is damn emo..then they were in mud or something.like utter despair.. suits the song. though i still like the korean version better

se7olution

think i'm gonna be a new se7en fan =D was so happy last week that we danced to se7en's song at studiowu's fusion hiphop class lol..

i feel like i woke up damn early today.. actually i prolly slept for some 12 hours...yes..this pig slept right after dinner at 7 and woke at 8 lol..

catching up on lost sleep over the past week indeed..next week is some dieded week. and i AM freaking out.. thinking of taking leave so i can mug at home. like i'm nowhere near ready for exam..aiyaiyaiyai

today had our first dance prac for blyc.. i found out i can choreo! coolio haha i did 4 eights yay. even though 1 of the eights was quite cheater.. maybe i'll continue wif the song for another 4 eights then i should stop. otherwise everything will become too jazzy/smooth. like clarice say..my steps is the groovy type..oh well i quite like the 4 eights i did.. =D sadly farhanis and junting never come..oh wells.. see what i can come up with before next prac..yay for renewed confidence

不管世界

说我们俩在一起有多坎坷
*

been planning so far ahead recently. i'll be planning for next monday's experiments to run and my study schedule for SATs and my dreaded H3 exam. and concert and class cip. suddenly wondered. wat if after all these planning, i dun live to finish them... wun that be quite sad and disappointing.. so that the -wherever- can write that "it was such a pity she died young, she had a bright future ahead of her". xian. anyway i dun intend to end my life. just randomly wondering. accidents are never planned...

oh wells. i think this saturday quite die. i havent choreod anything for u all to learn >< cos i been feeling very afraid for SATs and mugging without feeling any better. and my inspiration for steps were whitewashed after attending girls hiphop class that..totally freaked me out. i think i'll continue being cor lor and do hard hiphop...and i have a super strong urge to go back to the labs on saturday. aiyaiyai...

想见你，

没有你，城市再炫也没意义，热闹的全都是你的幻影
想见你，心太急，狂奔拥挤的人群里。多希望下一秒就见到你
(= 无印良品 rocks

why is it that all teens find that their parents are not supportive in what they are doing, not "loving/accepting them for who they are" and feel that their parents have this set of ideals by which they want their child to turn out to be and seek ways and means to make the child fit this set of ideals. ideals like...getting straight As, coming back from school obediently, going for academic attachments and competitions, no staying out beyond 8pm, no arcade, no lan, dun buy music albums of idols, dun buy computer games, dun spend pocket money on things other than lunch... OMG

heh i told myself at the beginning of this year (or rather at the end of last year) that i will be obedient this year and not make my parents upset by not doing things that will make them worried. but wth. parents get harder and harder to please.. especially when u start having an idea of how you wan ur life to be and its going against ur parents ideals

so i save to pursue what i want and my mum says i have too much money. my mum says the same thing when my bro saves so he can get NBA live and FIFA in alternating years. and lucky him has an older bro to save with him. they share cost. how wonderful economies of scale can be. 为什么突然觉得好像孤军作战？but things are different, my dad is also interested in such gaming and says "if you ask i would have given you the money to buy that" and i enroll in a dance class and they make a huge hoo ha out of it like wth. i've done it before, they made noise before, why cant they bloody accept it? noise made once is enough.

and they keep asking me to study. 要考钢琴的时候又不见他们这么关心，还跑去外国，考试都不知道。怎么突然这么紧张？又不是他们在考。they think my holidays only have 3 things to worry about: attachment, SATs and H3. i dream my life so simple. i wont want a life that so mundane pls. i'll rather make myself damn busy and highly active than just worry about those 3 things during my holidays. just so happens that everything is coming at the wrong time and everything is packed into this one week. I'm sure i mug H3 and SATs and choreo and come up wif various various proposals. but i cant complain. i asked for it. so i handle it. damn. i need to slp now.

do people ever get tired of STUDYING..i mean i probably wun get tired of learning but studying? dammit.

偶尔胆怯你能了解

站在十字路的交点 该怎么走 我却只剩回头

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Yes everyone will be leaving..or has left. for some place or another. like the whole school is going overseas CIP or overseas sth. my fanily is going spain portugal (europe again! without me!) my dad gonna spend christmas at taiwan. vanessa is overseas, ms low is gone and gone, ruth has left for cambodia, odac has left for aust. lol. maybe i should take this as a time to 闭门思过 (is there such a phrase?) and like sit down and wonder what are the things that need my attention and need me to do, and to mug for SATs. mann..i know the SATs are damn near. and i'm like how prepared for it.. i'm getting 79% which is HORRIblE. like.. throw me out the window =S

and just last week i was thinking about how to play this hols. how to spend my hols so that i feel that i've done all things interesting and i've spent my hols living. i think, i'll still be living. albeit in a different way. enjoyment in the lab is quite different from going out to play, skating, camping, cycling, watching the sky the trees the waters and the birds, watching movie, dancing, singing, shopping...and i told myself i'll play when SATs are over. but i realised i cant, cos thats when i drill for eoy perf. (and also if i only go dance then, i would be missing out on the christmas deals at studio wu lol) ugh SATs are sticky things. i should just mug and get it over and done with. but now. i'm telling myself, 3 things, mug, street and lab. ok so i should focus and concentrate now. (I cant believe i'm actually looking up the syllabus of advanced placement tests -_-) ugh yes focus.

ahhhh need to sort things out.. all the CIP projects' details and i need to plan a timetable..so that i can do enough practices and go for SATs feeling prepared =X oh my tian

....and gerald just told me "dun stress" today =X