Home on the range

oh give me a home
where the buffalo roam
where the deer and the antelope play
where seldom is heard
a discouraging word
and the skies are not cloudy all day

home home on the range
where the deer and the antelope play
where seldom is heard
a discouraging word
and the skies are not cloudy all day

it feels like end of CTs already. even though theres still bio paper
may the bio department be kind and give us an Ace-able paper

伤痕

林忆莲的《伤痕》，不知道为什么突然哼起这首歌...

夜已深
还有什麽人
让你这样醒着数伤痕
为何临睡前会想要留一盏灯
你若不肯说
我就不问

只是你现在
不得不承认
爱情有时候是一种沈沦
让人失望的虽然是恋情本身
但是不要只是因为你是女人

若爱得深
会不能平衡
为情困
磨折了灵魂
该爱就爱
该恨的就恨
要为自己保留几分

女人独有的天真
和温柔的天分
要留给真爱你的人
不管未来多苦多难
有他陪你完成
虽然爱是种责任
给要给得完整
有时爱美在无法永恒
爱有多销魂就有多伤人
你若勇敢爱了就要勇敢分

夜已深
还有什麽人
让你这样醒着数伤痕
为何临睡前会想要留一盏灯
你若不肯说
我就不问

time to mug. i dun dare to countdown to anything. freaky...
i'm getting sick of exams.

the past 2 days were quite hectic.. din mug at all
but i think yesterday smoother than today. i thot better la..
maybe cos today got more perfs and i was more into things. kept thinking back to think about how else i could have done it.. at times when i was quite doing too many things at a time, could i have passed it on to someone else. for i had quite a bit of people with me.. but then. no leh. oh maybe could have asked the art club people to photocopy the thingies themselves. that could have freed me up a bit.. i think main problem is the 2 places that i'm running between were too far apart

but i think. today smoother than expected (super thanks so all who came, esp yeesian n gerald whom i asked to come only the day before =D). talk went very well, film went ok, chorale perfs were quite ok, piano went well, puppet went ok (james never say anything about puppet..) craftwork went quite well (maybe cos we didnt try too many wards now) few hiccups like more groups wanting to perform at SOC than should be, congestion at a performance places cos of rain, and suddenly requiring multipurpose plug o.O otherwise..ok la

yay after tuesday, weds thurs fri all dun haf so many things happening atthe same time, and performers mainly our own people, so should be very easy. somehow wen we dun have the performing ppl's contact numbers, then they dun come on time.. =S nearly freaked me when the piano and drum never come until so close to perf time.. and the poor guy run between 2 places haii. the both of them should just be together la..

okok enough. this kind of chaotic conditions, heng i survived it and never die too badly. should go back to math

oh i had ice mocha today. get sweeter as u drink. haha

aching!

yay! heng today got ache. but dunno if that will make me go run.
my motivation level now is like at 1, assuming maximum 100.
ie no motivation to mug no motivation to run. oni a bit of motivation to keep eating papayas

yesterday go dance quite fun la.. learn something new. but dunno la. maybe never teach them ethics of the dance studio. and then i understand what rebecca means when she say we got no respect for instructor. cannot believe it la talk so much then keep clustering.. why so scared to do and practise >=I
but i wanna come for more! i wanna go sign up for more classes and like keep dancing, at least 2 hours a week, which is damn little already. i wanna dance! i wanna learn. i dun wanna just mug. so xian after CTs is not rest, is mug sumore.

today go zoo! with imh patients. it went really well i think. some hiccups but no big problems. i hope they enjoyed themselves, since they rarely get to go out. my partner was a very nice man, who drank lotsa water, and talked to me =) singapore zoo has more monkeys than anything. just quite sad that go australian outback oni got kangaroo and wallaby and emu no wombat. i really wanted to see wombat. never see before.. learnt sth new today. wallaby is the one that walks wif hands and legs. kangaroo oni hop.

super tired. halfway thru the zoo trip i wanted to sleep le. luckily my partner dun need a lot of attention or super high or keep wandering away. tomorrow need to wake early! better hope i can wake up. i need to wake at 815 and leave house at 830 latest. impossible for me to wake so early X(

really cannot bring myself to mug. heres answers for the last bird test. lol
i think i din really get the name right but nvm.
laughing thrush looks like that:

yea and in the picture below u get to see the black eye "liner" (lol) and the white crown =D
ok i think this one really quite tough..

DANCE

tml got dance! cant wait.
first dance class in 1+ months!
my gawd how did i live through this.
tian..

cant wait for all the muscle aches.
i've been so slack and like totally not exercising
just sitting and trying to mug >< argh but not really getting anywhere
and sleeping for long long hours
i wanna ache!

maybe after this saturday i will continue to go running and do my stomach exercises..
cos aching feels good. and cos physical activity will make me mug better and more?..

ahh dance dance dance
tml is BIG GROOVE. i oni read about it TODAY. so SLOW. then all the master classes koped le. but i wanna kope also cannot la... i am SOOOOOO broke. this sunday going to bring IMH patients to zoo need $5 for tram. ahh my bro must return me the $5 now. otw sunday i can walk wif the tram =X best.

am so behind. was planning the rest of the mugging for the rest of the hols. not a lot of time left. but tian I'M STILL NOT JIN ZHANG ABOUT IT TO MUG! why liddat -.-

mugging kills the soul i say.. maybe find some time go macritchie jogging again. must da qi jing shen leh..

and i'm still constantly getting shot by complex numbers.
i hope vectors wun kill me as badly as complex does. ARRRR

weekends are almost always spent out! =S xinzi is freaked out by the mugging peoples. just yesterday benny and james simultaneously find me and say they stress about exams and freaked about As. aiyai.

Saturday went to kids central to support the lil kid =) i was hoping i'll be able to see the other lil kids perform too.. but the kids were taken to a room and frens family not allowed to follow. i hope he did well.. results coming out on the 15june, quarter finals on the 23 24 june at Chinatown Point. xian diao. week before CTs! dun think i can choreo for him le. i hope he at least gets to the quarter finals.. he was number 86..there were only 4 kids for that time period. theres another bunch of kids in the 'shift' after his, so i suppose nearly 100 kids to choose from. dunno how many they choosing out of this 100. see how la. his mum very supportive of him leh (so xian mu lorh), the rest of the kids there were girls, then dress up until.. but ya must dress up la. his mum says next year bring his sis over to participate, i guess some parents like it when their kids get famous.. my mum never really liked me dancing/singing/performing. she says not ladylike =( gahh seems like only ballet and those classical things are ladylike. then i go for hiphop class, sign up for another 10 classes then she 'ngehngehngeh...' if studiowu does another production next year, i wanna be part of it leh.. dunno if my mum will allow =(

Sunday went for Evoke! not that cool a name but it was a damn cool performance! haha and i'm happy to have gone with streeters =) quite zai lorh. and saw a number of faces that i recognise from class de (then wish i was part of the team.. but not possible la with VIBE and all in the same preparation time.. ahh i wanna dance!) the only dance in this whole month will be next saturday! we gonna redeem our free class at studiowu =D

Barely mugged. knowing yeesian's progress scares me a lil, but cant seem to get motivation to mug! ahh dunno why leh. and its not like i got damn a lot of time. week after next still got SGH CIP leh. and i'm down for so many hours.. haii xinzi must mug! =(

parents

i wonder if they visit this place.
my dad probably can find time to dig around for this place..but i dun think my mum has
anyways..my bro n i went out for pirates. what gerald called a sisters nite out -.-
on my way back my mum called..and in her usual pissed off angry screaming voice.. i dun need to elaborate
she ask me how come i go watch movie with my lil bro never tell her.
she ask me how come i go watch movie with my lil bro never ask my other bro to come along.
you know, i dunno why..
i guess i just followed my heart and din really think about what was the "right" thing to do. i din intend to hide that my bro and i going for movie. i din intend to make sure my other bro dun come. no i dun harbour such horrible thoughts. somehow i just thot no i dun need to ask my other bro to come along cos he probably dun wanna come. (but would he?) and the other... oh wells.
i dunno la.
i dun think very much.

but somehow, i'm just very happy to have spent this evening with my lil bro and my lil bro alone. and that we watched a very enjoyable movie. that all these on my way back..doesnt seem to get on me that hard.

maybe i'm really mean. my other bro must be feeling quite shitty.. (he'll watch it with his frens anyway..rite?..)

Another SPOT THE BIRD game =D

This bird is the laughing thrush. quite a big bird. taken by my phone camera but i think its easier to see than previous ones =)



Today we went APSN to see the kids again, give them their bookmarks tshirts lanyards..

and they gave us food =D

as well as these very nice cards <3<3

happy =D

-23/05

toilet blues

constipation is no fun
bend from dawn till set of sun
cannot stand and cannot sit..
(and in horrible cases cannot lie down also..)

argh. i wish i can sh*t as easily as i use the word.
and i dun think its a diet thing cos i've been eating fruits like their my only meal and i'm still getting my constipation. theres something horribly wrong cos in the last month, i've constipated for 4 or 5 times already. 2 less severe, an 3 horribly horrid. and the last time i had it before this past month was in dec. argh. dunno wat to do cos my mum thinks going to the doctor will be useless and keep proposing various unorthodox self healing methods that i doubt will improve my situation at all. and after the whole event, everywhere is swollen and aching, that no sitting position/standing position is comfortable. and walking is particularly uncomfortable. ahhh
but i dun wanna miss school tomorrow cos theres chem lec test! and i'll be like wobbling around at the same time. oh my tian. and i was supposed to be spending part of tonight thinking about choreography for one of my kids at APSN cos he wanna participate in 1 min of fame. no i dun wanna not go school tml. but wat to do.. now i'm either squatting or bent over and it feels super screwed up. ahhhh save me. wat in the world is wrong wif my bowel system???

a night of chinese songs

i love quiet nites wif soft chinese songs on radio. until chongqing speaks in his eerie voice about ghost stories. -.- lol anyways i've been looking for this song! cannot find =(

林俊杰 - 自由不变

不变不动不转的世界
刹那瞬息片刻永远..
用全心记住你的脸
来来回回千万遍
突然领悟你是如何爱我

一直习惯简单的随心的放任的自由
不喜欢冻结的酒不愠不火
日复一日无聊的生活
沉默的了解的是你的温柔
不管我错了对了
因为你说那就是我
我一直习惯简单的随心的
wo~wo~~ yeah
那就是我..

oh and when i'm not listening to radio, this song will be in my mind, ah such a sad song
曹格 - 背叛

雨不停落下来
花怎么都不开
尽管我细心灌溉
你说不爱就不爱
我一个人欣赏悲哀
爱只剩下无奈
我一直不愿
再去猜钢琴上黑键之间
永远都夹着空白
缺了一块就不精采

紧紧相依的心
如何say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢
我用背叛自己
完成你的期盼
把手放开不问一句say goodbye
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡
今后都不管
只要你能愉快

心有一句感慨
还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前
替我再回头看看
那些片段还在不在

-lyrics from baidu.com

and recently i heard another song by energy. sigh. now they copy fly to the sky in one of their classics, missing you. i believe its not new song la..i just slow to hear it. somehow i always find it increasingly 可惜 that they keep copying other artistes nice songs..that i lazy to slam them le. oh wells. it a nice melody. lyrics quite nice also. just thot it could be done better..hmm.

rant

i'm really in a rant a lot mood right now.
really wanna call ruth and talk or something but at this kind of time if i am found to be talking on the phone for like 1+ hours i will prolly be stoned by my mum.
and besides she is always busy. she prolly still is very very busy. or maybe shes at church now. or maybe shes just very tired now and prolly KO-ed. i would have died living life like her. i've said it so many times shes sick of me saying it.
maybe i'm slowly getting into my post Street blues. i expected post Street to be quite happy cos i'll be finally liberated from all admin work and shitty stuff esp arranging things or like teaching people (ye i feel very ashamed to say that i'm quite sick of teaching people, i'll prolly make a very horrible teacher). but no leh. i'm not used to not thinking about street, and i still keep thinking about street, and how we must tell the next batch not to follow in our mistakes. the first year saw so many mistakes. and quite a lot of unhappy times. each time a streeter comes to tell me about affairs in street i sometimes feel quite sad for the mistakes that's been made. and because the time has passed, there will never be time to correct it. only when next batch comes, then we try to articulate what exactly went wrong for us. but its quite hard to explain when u havent been in it before. jc life is too short to pass to experienced people.
suddenly feel like talking to crystal also, for thanking her for always being so receptive to us teaching, willing to learn, shes one of the greatest students in street. i wonder how many sreeters feel after 1 half years of being in street. really wanna read and hear their honest opinions and not just a procedural reflections thing but a spontaneous outpouring of whats inside. i hope there is things inside to pour.
ruth was just telling me the other day about how being street chair is quite a thankless job, and i just added..like a mother. u sometimes dun feel quite appreciated. (saying thank you is one thing, how much you mean it could be another, and only time tells how much it means) i think shes feelng this way for a long time now. esp since 2 months ago ba. that somehow what she wanted aways seemed to be more than people wanted to achieve and hence people stop practising before they reach her standards or stop demanding before they reach the best that they can be. sometimes she feels like shes going through a lot of trouble to put up a good show, but shes the only one doing it. and i've heard this more than once from her: "that yea we're noobs/we're doing this for charity but that should not compromise on the quality of the performance.we need to respect our audience" i couldnt agree more. the point of street is not for people to see noob dance, but to see that altho we're new, we can do great stuff. but i think one year of performance has made people lose sight of that? or that perhaps people have grown complacent. i need not illustrate this. the last perf was enough evidence.
despite working much wif a (makeshift) mirror, i have a feeling streeters dun really see themselves well enough in it, they dun see a true reflection of themselves in there, they see wat they think they see, they see wat they feel they see. i am personally guilty of that at times. i would go down turn on the music and dance. dance to steps that i know, choreo/items that i know, full energy, for like 7-10 mins, before realising how I am still greatly lacking in my performance skills and sharpness. and begin to understand why my dad went for VIBE and came back telling me "you try very hard, but you have no talent for dance" i still cant fully understand what he's saying, and i'm just gonna convince myself he's doing that becos he has another motive to get me to mug hard and spend the rest of my half year mugging and doing nothing besides mugging. wat an evil conspiracy.
i'm feeling super emo now. thinking about street generally makes me feel emo. thinking about how there wun be much dance in my life for 1+months due to my poverty is going to make me very very moody. and thinking about how the rest of this half year is pure mugging and essay writing and uni applications and exams is prolly going to make me lose my character and soul. yes i'm gonna be very very emo.

Tuesdays

tuesday was Ms Nair's birthday. we had a nice cake for her which i think i ate more than 1/4 of it LOL.. such a pig am I. and we got her wonderful note presents. i really think notes mean more than presents. dunno why when i was preparing the thingy the nite before i was reading and reading and couldnt help crying. Ms Nair's just great

tuesday. Ms Nair showed us Tuesdays with Morrie. we finished it yesterday. made me wanna read the book, but dunno when i'll really get down to it. Time is indeed a scarce commodity these days. and it'll take a while for people to start living with a bird on their shoulders. if i were living with a bird on my shoulder, then maybe A levels wouldnt really be the top on my list (well i dun even think it is right now) and future planning will not take precedence over everything. yea maybe it shouldnt. life isnt all about building resume. i hope its still the case. I'd like to live more ideally than practically.. the movie had quite a bit of nice quotes from there "Why does everyone wanna be number one? whats wrong with being number two?" and there was quite a few on love. and how without love, we die. i think not physically die, but spiritually.. and i loved this the most: "A person dies, but the relationship stays". First time after a movie when the whole class was soooo quiet. and where we didnt fuss about going off early. and even when ms nair says we can go off early we kinda slowly zaoed..and lingered around..

tuesday. the first day of exco interviews. it was really through these interviews that i get suddenly reflection brainwaves, of how i had been at the beginning of last year, and of how i am now. and i'm seeing myself so clearly in rachel. (i wonder if any j1 is reading this) through street, i really saw for myself how a team works, how my past method of working on my own will not work out when there are so many things to be handled at the same time, how working on my own will not involve people and make them feel belonged, i saw the flaws of being impulsive or of following my heart more than my head... (i think i still do that but to a lower extent..i hope), i saw how we should not judge people too early and how they will surprise you, i saw how being quiet does not mean you don't contribute, i saw how even without holding a high position one can still contribute ideas and change street for the better, and i saw how it is good to have birds eye view ie macro view like what ruth does, and how being really meticulous and seeing all the little details will not be enough, but that will take while for me to get. i remember getting troubled as i started to get sick of street as i saw all the admin, and how on more than one occasions, i was merely pushing forward mindlessly, perhaps the macro understanding could have brought me further, but i remember how no matter how much ruth explained i couldnt get it, i couldnt see it in action, even though words seem logical. i remember writing before that i'm not that effective a leader but more of a follower, and even as a leader, i need to constantly remind myself a leader works, discusses, figures out stuff, decides with her team not on her own (i was hoping i had semi achieved that in my PW team). i learnt that as equals, (yes we're equals, whether we're CT rep or chair or vchair or member or treasury) i cannot really command people to do things, but they must be willing to do it or to be supportive of your decision. and although we may not have been able to achieve so ideal an environment in street, i think out of 100%, we've achieved 85%. which is quite remarkable of a first year dance group. we saw a lot of our errors, which still has it effects on our members today, like how we had untapped-on talent and people who could have progressed so much but werent given the chance to. i learnt that i should trust, and also guide, (i think almost all my learning was in this year ><) and not to do for them (ie when we allocate stuffs out), but i think i still have much to learn about how to guide, and keep checking, without doing it already. yes this first batch was truly bumpy, with us gaining much more wisdom as october/promos/open house neared. << yes we took that much time. and even up to this year, we are still making mistakes. and i really hope that we could learn from these mistakes and inform the next batch, and the next batch and the next batch, about it. I'm sure the 2nd batch wouldnt be very easy either, but i hope that with our advice, it'll work out better. we'll always be here for advice!

today we broke the news of new exco to them. i hope they will accept it and work well with it. trust us in our judgement, our experience in handling all these things on our own has taught us much more than teacher ics and leadership camps can. mistakes teach people harder lessons -and we've learnt, now we hope you'll take our advice. our experiences are enough to tell us what arrangement will work out. now is for all to give each other a chance, to know each other better, to believe in each other, and not to devalue yourself, and i'm sure that with that, yall can bring street to very great heights in the future.

*

still 2 things else thats bugging me but i'll just write about one.
R PROJECT!
wo de tian.
people are going for it cos they hear of the battle. (like we're trying to pick a fight -.- i'm sure)
being the black sheep that i am, i seriously doubt the success of this battle.
they say its street vs dance, but i dun think it'll work out. the current teams is already kinda screwed up. its not street v dance right now anyways. and seriously half the people involved have no idea what they're in for and we're kinda freaking out.. if you wan a spectacular show, i certainly hope yall wun be disappointed. meanwhile, more talks will be initiated. oh my tian. if i'm not confident..i may just withdraw =S

vibe!

i love the time now
i love the number of hours i slept in class today
i love the number of hours i slept once i got home today...

last nite saw the conclusion of street concert. it was a blast! even tho it was short, it was crowded, probably hot also, i think most who went down were happy with wat we prepared for them. and i hope the $12 was worth it.

for it was a display of all streeters' hard work, especially over this past 1 1/2 months, back stage crew, onstage performer; the kids' hard work over the last 2 months. it couldnt make me more glad to see them happy after their performance and enjoying themselves, interacting with the other matk kids.

i think for a first time concert, for a 2 year old interest group (yes we are still not a CCA), this concert was really successful and it really made me feel that all the hard work over the past 1 1/2 years was worth it. feels like we're writing history.. we've started street's history with such vibrance, i hope street's journey will continue a long way more..

great thanks to all who came down, for spending that precious time that could have been spent shopping with friends/mugging bio spa/finishing chem tutorials/with family. we couldnt have done without your support. family members and friends who have spurred on streeters during our down days, thanks so much to you too, for keeping us sane despite our insane practices, for understanding our coming home late.. and as most in the audience were from RJ, great thanks to the school population for your support for street. we'll need your continued support to make us a CCA one day =)

the meeting for all streeters after the concert was the best.. we thrashed out everything, what we felt, what could have been improved, and the Anderson's ice cream just made everyone feel so blessed that we managed to finish the concert smoothly. i wished i really managed to get the auntie annes tho.. i really hope we can continue this CIP thing and concert thing into the next year. i have confidence in the next batch.. j1s if yall need help, we'll always be around to help alright?

so half my life is ending.. it'll be exco interviews and handover by the end of this week. and then my life will be over. lol leaving only the mugging. and looking at the pile of untouched homework and notes.. i better start recovering on my mugging soon.

3am now.ms nair's bday celebrations in 5 hours. nite.

I'm a very insecure person.
hard to believe..
cos i'm good at pretending.
even tho it feels like __ inside.
i just dunno how to say it out.

a long walk. and more to go.

i'm feeling a little distraught about the current state of affairs. concert was supposed to be a chance for everyone. a perf planned well in advance, so that people have time to learn more. for it is through performances that people learn the most. but it din work out. people need time to practice, to learn, to adapt, to absorb, and now we no longer have it.

and i still remember the little aspirations we had, ideas that popped out of nowhere, that made us all excited but never got put into action. remember performers in the audience? spotlights in the audience? the concept of a storyline? and i'm wondering what should i have done. thinking back now, maybe at that point in time, i would not have had the foresight to tell people to do otherwise, or the thought of reminding myself about the original objectives i had wanted to achieve through concert. to me, it was not so much about the kids. it was more about us. street.

why didnt i push for practices to start in february. were we all too caught up with J1 stuffs then? j1 orientation and beginning of programme, the planning of j1 programme was wat occupied us for the first 2 weeks or so of february. i should have sensed something was wrong when streeters say they wanna dance, but there was no dance sessions for them. why didnt i check on the choreography then? or was it because i was still being fooled by grand plans and not knowing it. maybe i was caught up with trying to decide and finalise the concept of the concert. we did not have a venue and we had too limited funds. we had even grander plans for selling stuffs that i knew would not really work out. maybe it was a point in time when finances was being changed rediscussed, we were waiting results from somewhere.. there was cny, take five, dramafeste, and without details confirmed, no one had the motivation to start prac.. no. more like there was nothing to prac about.

and by the time march came, no one wanted to practice, because we were 3 weeks away from common test. and the choreographers needed their mugging times. because when CTs come, we are supposed to stop everything and just focus energy on CTs. because exams are more important than any other activities. such a pity. i knew we should have started practice when I was already starting CIP with the kids and finding time very limited. but we cant. CTs were 3 weeks away. and "not everyone can handle CTs and street stuff at the same time like me." yes i was being told that same line a zillion times during that few weeks.

i thought ok we'll wait till after CTs, then we must start practice. but there was still nothing to practice about. it was 6 weeks to performance. except, at that point in time, we still did not have the date confirmed as we did not have the venue confirmed.it wasnt till that week was almost over, 5 weeks, when we finally semi confirmed the venue. and there was more distractions. we had no name. we spent that week trying to settle on a name. yes we spent a week on it. and then we had to work out disparities between what people wanted on a poster. and get the relevant resources/people who are able to do a poster on the computer.by then poster design was one week late. and by the time the 'final' copy came out, we were 2 weeks behind deadline. and there was street nite. and there was various editing, before i finally sent it for printing 2 weeks after it was supposed to be submitted.

and i was so caught up with posters that all i could do to check on the concert group, was to insist that prac started. and i know thats not really called checking. the very first prac session occurred on 9th april just last week. 4 weeks left. and it was to teach the choreography i came up with the tuesday before. i dunno wht happened to the rest of the choreography. it just couldnt come out... and that was the only practice last week. for weds, thurs and fri were spent trying to get as much choreo done/extracted as possible (i am so happy for the group of you who stepped in to figure out a solution.. I wouldnt know what to do on my own..), to rearrange our current item arrangements so as to reach a feasible solution.

so here we are now, in this week. 3 weeks more like 2 1/2 weeks left to concert. at least i can now see a direction where we are going, yet it is still very saddening for me (and for ruth) to shift people around items, because the original intent was not to re-focus on the same people again. we wanted to groom yall. but perhaps i din have the foresight in mid-feb to countdown the no. of weeks/days, to pressurise items earlier, to get people involved earlier, so that we may have more time to help the weaker ones. and it was with lots of heartache that i see i cannot fit people in, that i see old segments reused, that i see the same people appearing in all perfs, that i see myself involved in a full item, when my original intentions were only to dance with the kids. i really did not want street to be just a few strong people hiding the weak people. and it is with great regret that at this point in time i find we have to revert to this again. indeed disappointing. street can be so much more. if only we had more time or realised earlier. i believe the concert will be very good, but this wun be street at its best. sadly..

i think i have been sunken in this kind of mindless doing stuff for a long time. that when ruth first started speaking to me mid last week, i could only make head or tail of what ruth was getting at yesterday.. and could only find time to get this down today since i reached home at an unearthly 2300hours yesterday.

come on. we have 2 more weeks. i'm sure we can do this =) nows the time for every streeter to give your all to street. for it is only when all of you give what you can, can we resurrect ourselves from this nearly deathly mess.

this post probably comes at a very bad time. i'm not trying to dampen publicity efforts. We do have exciting and new items in this concert. we're trying out new styles such as street jazz and we're also trying a swing-ish kind of hiphop. oh theres girly hiphop as well. i'm trying to see if i can insert more kpop elements since those are what the school population rarely sees, and kpop dance style is quite unique. we're also having an item that takes a more dramatic perspective/interpretation of hiphop. the good thing about hiphop is that it is really flexible and and quite all-encompassing, yet you can tell that each component has its own style, and that hiphop is not always the same. our invitational groups also doing breaking, popping, locking, and we have a kids group as well. perhaps these performances can introduce everyone to more genres of streetdance. and hopefully street will be able to bring out the different styles and attitudes of each performace.

to all who have ordered/bought tickets, thanks for your support. my deepest and most sincerest thanks to all who come, close friends, not so close friends, we'll do our best to not waste your money and let you down. really appreciate yall coming down to watch us.

COME!

so long

seems like a long time has passed. maybe cos CTs have passed. usually would find time in between mugging to xian around..but mugging dun seem very worth an entry.. and as usual when CTs finish..i get into some weird sad and empty kind of state. like at the end of last year promos...been angsty! i dunno why. emily and i decided cos we're both emilys, we're naturally angsty. really dunno why tho. i havent even been thinking about stuff.. gives me no reason to be moody.

anyways. street concert can zoom forward now. so many things to be done by this weekend. kids item to be fully choreod, j2 item to be fully choreod, j2 item must start prac next week, poster design must be sent in next week, and must quickly decide if we wanna sell any more things to help raise money for VSA. we haf quite a bit of extra money. anyone got ideas? that can get approval from school very quickly de. then can raise money. put money to good use ma..since we have it already *ponders* so heres the confirmed concert details

note changes!
Street concert name: VIBE
Date/time: 5th May 6th May Sunday, 430-6pm
Venue: DXO (so relieved that we got the place.)
Ticket price: $10 $12 (excluding $1 ticket handling charge if we use ticketcharge)[sorry we trying to crowd control..but i dun think $2 can really control that much crowd..lol)
Doors open 4pm. Come early otherwise you may not get a nice position to see us. Theres TV screens around though. Oh and there arent a lot of sitting space so..if everyone crowds at the stage there maybe cannot see very well...
Ticket sales will commence....soon. Dunno when. Gotta decide if we wanna use ticketcharge. Performers: streeters, APSN youths, tnet, NYP, Tampines Sec, MATK kids (they are really good!)must really thank all our sponsors and partners. i think all who come will get complimentary copy of that month's LIME magazine. LIME rox. i think i will cry when this finishes

-updated 3rdapril-

oh but before that. got another fun stuff coming up. Street "NITE". lol note the "". haha its for j1 and j2 streeters to get tgt! and watch the prowess of j1s haha. got fun games food and j1 perfs. j2s wanna perf also can haha next thursday evening 5-7 liddat. still got details not confirmed. we need a $150 cheque! it wun be given to the bank de..just hold there for a while only. but my ma dun wan to give =(

boajjang forum are back up! ok they've been up for a while le. i'm just slow. made me so pleased. is loves boa! my inspiration =D=D haha here a nice high res pic i found. another of her nike things

so chioooo!!

Kids: this week's theme

today's lifestyle pages 8 and 9 are wonderfully inspiring articles. read them!

this weekend's been a roller coaster ride. i'm so happy theres no school tml.

On thursday we had streetex meeting. rgd cip project. i think we're progressing really well. but we just met with a roadblock. our venue sponsor decided not to sponsor us. left us so lost for a while. threw up many ideas and stressed out on friday calling people. we called back our original venue and seems they are quite willing to sponsor us. haii seems like our original sponsors didnt even talk to our supposed venue people. oh well i think this should work out. pray and hope hard.

Saturday was Class CIP. Sports Carnival at Gracehaven. i think, for a first time, we did fairly well. not exceptional, but not too bad.it would have been better, perhaps if all of us learnt how to deal with kids, what exactly are their emotional needs. i mean, how do you deal with children then come in and before everything starts, they cry,because their parents did not come while other parents came. how do you deal with children who get violent after losing a game because they are upset inside, that their parents left halfway thru the day. and perhaps mich and i were too stress/jinzhang/worried, somehow i couldnt speak and give instructions properly, so the dry run was kinda messy and we could not end briefing in time to get dry run started. a number of lost stuff. my failure balancing role as equipment head and group leader (lincoln! how could u do this to me!watch out as my sharpened knife nears ur throat..) but at the end of it all, the kids wrote their feelings and stuff. and as i read, i was very touched. i feel like we really made a differerence. however small it may be, but for today, most of the kids were really happy to have a special day in gracehaven. for those whose parents came, it must have been very special for them to be involved in games together. as i saw parents and children working thru the 3 legged race,and parents using watever ways they can to help in the fill the bottle game. the parents who turned up are really very sporting. but at the same time, we saw how the kids really wish, inside them, for their parents to be closer to them, long to go home, and how some parents have so many children yet are unable to care for all of them. i went to the home on friday to take a look at the place before the actual day actual event, and the girl i tutored, actually remembers me! i tutored her only for 1 day, under 2 hours, and it was almost a full year ago! i din remember her name =( and i almost didnt recognise her also. haii but now i know and i will remember. wanna quickly grow up and adopt her. and make her feel important and loved. but of course she will also grow up la.. so maybe just visit her more.

and today, i read 2 articles. one is of a superdoctor. who specialises in leukemia in children at st jude children hospital. he's here to give a talk and i missed it. sadly. but its ok. at least i read about him. such a great doctor that inspires me. the other is of a woman in the health service. she works in A&E at Changi General Hospital. the article is about how she balances work and life and family. i certainly hope that i can be like that in the future. that even though i may become a doctor, i will still be able to spend time at home, with my children. and may my children be able to learn about the joys of serving others and putting others first at a young age. hospitals really should adopt flexi-hours. another inspiration. yea i think i will go into medicine.

on a side note, i saw my baby cousin today again hehe so happy. he so cute la! he will scrunch up his face wen he's angry to see if got tears to squeeze out. then when we all laugh he'll laugh along. and then run to daddy cos mummy made him angry haha. heres a pic of him! its my wall paper now! =D

oh and another hokkaido picture!

haha i got browner and poofier hair here lol

i love hokkaido!

Click on it! ^.^