感觉好像让身边的人失望了
可是这次我很清楚，我已尽我所能
之后命运要让我走怎样的路
已不在我能掌控的范围之内
或许最失望的，还是我自己

i saw a white throated kingfisher today!
there it stood perched on my window for that few seconds..
i didnt take a picture of it though, it was so close my movement may make it fly away..

why do we never use DNA fingerprinting to identify your mum?

in the notes its always paternity testing.. i don't remember seeing maternity testing except in my answers. today i figured out why we dun use DNA fingerprinting for maternity testing. cos all kids belonging to this mum will have the same mitochondrial DNA! intracellular organelles are inherited from the mother and the father only contributes the nuclear DNA. so if your mitochondrial DNA is exactly the same as this woman, it probably confirms that she's your mum.. or maybe grandmum. haha

Liberation!

haha! with gp gone half my troubles were gone. with econs gone all my troubles are gone! now theres only one chem and 2 bio left... that should be pretty smooth sailing and alright.. and after that SATs. A level taking so long to finish...
i decided science A level super easy. prelims set so difficult scare us only. but arts A level very difficult. prelim and A level same standard.. so if you dunno what subject to take, just take science. its the safest. the opp cost is that u may find along the way you quite like arts subjects and you don't get to study something you like. BUT whatever it is, you still can get very safe 5A, without that much effort (i think) econs interesting but 读到要死 X_X so thus ends my 2 years of econs education lols
bio! chiong!

Wine appreciation

I'm amused. My dad loves wine. He has his own 9x2 rack for his wines. But he's the only one who drinks wine in the house. and wine is something you can only really enjoy when you have fellow wine drinking mates. unlike how u can go down beer when you're feeling lonely or just feel like destroying yourself. And because he takes quite a wide range of medicine it isn't very good for him to stress his liver out by drinking excessive alcohol. so my mum always asks us to "help him" drink so that he will have less to drink.. my mum herself isn't one who really likes to drink wine either and she'll ask to drink so my dad takes less.. today my dad got a friend to come over so that he'll have someone to drink with. lol someone who's drinking cos he's willing to drink. so for a first time in a long time he isnt drinking almost an entire bottle by himself.. lol

Wonder Kids

I've been made to read the newspapers daily. and i've been conscientious..
yesterday (looking at the time now, 2 days ago would prolly be the more correct term), there was this article, actually 2 articles one in the main section and one in the home section, about this family of wonder kids who have done so many o level subjects aceing every subject, and all of them are "underage" - 12 and 14. and i thought ok these are damn smart people and they really got it in the genes man.. until i read more and felt damn cheated. dunno whether to feel i wish i made a cleverer choice and figured out all my alternatives, or to feel happy that i'm proving myself as a better student.. either way i believe most people will compare themselves with these so called wonder kids if you read the article..
so anyway. the o levels and a levels that they take are not the ones administered by SEAB-Cambridge (the ones that a large bunch of us sit for and slog our brains out for) but by British Council and London Edexcel (that I think usually the international students take..). and if i didnt get my facts wrong, SEAB-Cambridge version is more challenging?.. While the International exams administered at British Council and London Edexcel are less difficult compared to the ones set by SEAB. SEAB-Cambridge means SEAB sets papers while Cambridge marks. I dont know to what extent the 2 papers differ in difficulty though, cos I havent sat down to compare or gone to find out the nitty details about the level of difficulty. but even their parents say that most singapore students should be able to take the other exam and pass with soaring colours. may be taken as humble comment but i think it is quite true too.. so i'm sorta wondering why so many people are being put through the damn difficult SEAB test, and so many people struggle so much to get into JC and with all the through trains its even more difficult for non-train-takers to get into the top jcs, when these struggling people could have a better life taking international exams and going somewhere else for an education, maybe starting university earlier, getting out to work earlier, retiring earlier.. well i guess maybe some people don't have much choice.. especially when going overseas costs a bomb cos of all the travelling and living expenses. so stress your mind out to keep education costs low. the only consolation that i can find is that an A in Singapore 'A' Levels gives you more credits when you go to college/uni than an A in International 'A' Levels. Thats true for maths..8 credits compared to 4 i think. but the other subjects, I think the credits given are the same, most don't make a distinction between Singapore exams and International exams also.
so which is better..I have no idea. when u you have SEAB setting, maybe your students know the scope of testing better and know the marking schemes better and you are perhaps expected to do better. but Cambridge international papers are done by people all over the world so shouldnt they be more flexible in marking? (the way the A levels curriculum is structured, you can ace most subjects by purely memorising key words.., and sometimes it is super frustrating when different key words come up for the same question and at the end of the day, you aren't awarded the marks cos you don't have the key term -.-) and if Singapore sets difficult questions, does Cambridge mark more stringently too?.. maybe one day i will infiltrate the exam boards and figure all these out. I cant figure out rationally who is at the losing end, but I have a feeling students put through the singapore exams are those at the losing end.
and the article comes at a horrible time. at a time like this, with a levels and o levels just a week away, such a reminder that there are alternative easier paths can really make some feel so cheated. and you think of having to compete against these other people with straight As in intl exams that are set more easily.. at a university the disparity in the grades can really make an impression..
oh wells. press on. i'm not worried that i'm not going to make it to university or that i won't be able to do well for a levels.. these a level period is going to pass very quickly and before I know it even prom will be over. so yea keep working hard.. i just happen to be someone who likes to keep looking back to see if I had made the right choices (if i made a choice in the first place) even though I cant change what's done.. lol

Sounds of the Forest

you hear the sound of twigs branches breaking, you can almost hear the heaviness of the entire branch, you hear some tearing of the bark of the tree, and then you hear a loud rustle of leaves. soft landing

I've learnt. that when u feel u're damn lousy at doing sth, it demoralises u more when u put in so much effort, yet still do lousily. and then u haf not the faintest idea how to go about making things better.damn.

I've been weary. not from mugging i think. but a wrong book that landed in my hands at the wrong time. i totally shouldnt be reading storybooks now when i should be mugging. And i dun feel like i've gotten very far with my mugging and its bothering me cos i dun even feel panic coming yet.

this book is beyond painful. there's so much pain hurt and love in between its pages. but the writer is so good she makes me wanna read on. (and in a way i want it to end quickly) i think the emotional roller coaster i get reading it at night is making me tired. and i really don't feel like reading it le. i've gotten tired of the pain, before the narrator has come to a point where she cant take it anymore. and yet i feel that i'm not quite feeling what the narrator feels yet. i skipped to the ending. i think i like the ending - an act of so much courage and conviction.
we are always most deeply hurt by those we deeply love.

another IQ question =)

this is a question justina asked me. quite funky. do without a paper and pen, just ur brains and if u wish, ur fingers. lol
there are 10 people in a room. the first person knows 1 person, 2nd person knows 2 people, 3rd person knows 3...9th person knows 9 people. how many people does that 10th person know? to say that first person knows the second person is to say that the second person knows the first person. its like a handshaking question. if 1 shakes hand with 2 then 2 shakes hand with 1. yeps.
the 10th person knows 5 people =)

eye candy

A toast to chem! =P

iodine in hexane!

BUGSgalore!

the oh so chio butterfly and the huge bee was encountered at ubin =) the other huge bug was encountered on my curtain..someone identify that bug please?...

ubintrip!

we were sitting at the beach waiting for everyone to come. mich and i were there waiting for everyone to come.. since morning.. until lunchtime..

er dun ask me what exactly was I taking.. this picture no focus de lols. we're at the chek jawa house.

i was trying to take the periwinkles but i guess i estimated my distance badly..

from some rock near the house

heres where we walked into the sea

can you spot the school of fish?

that school of fish is swimming parallel to the shore now... sigh my cam is quite lousy..

that lone tree.. that only looks blur on my phone after zooming..

someone said these are fiddler crabs, they have one big pincer and one small one. and they make a lot of holes. the sun was so hot. i'd be underground if i were one of them

the nipah fruit. right in the middle.

the avicennia roots..

we were told to stop to look at this view haha..there were ducks in there.. but the tree right in the foreground here blocked them..

my phone really aint that good. from up here, the quarry waters were cerulean blue. it was damn chio.. which off course u cant quite see in this picture..

encouragement to do better for econs

post Prelims *joy*

Blogging on this laptop is going to be a bit of a challenge, since the internet barely lasts 5 minutes before it disconnects, but i'll try anyway..

post prelims has been beyond joyous.. 有一种被释放的感觉 feels damn great

sister clan outing on friday! planned on thursday, i was so pleased and happy the night before that i wasn't in the mood to mug anymore (and i hope all goes well for chem mcq haha) klunch during lunch time and ratatouille at 2! ended at 4 but chem already felt like damn long ago. my wondrous sisters went kbox wif me even tho i hogged the mic most of the time =p and we still failed to make siok sing in the mic.. (at least i knew she was singing along) and we had so much fun banging our heads to hoobastank's the reason LOL while lincoln pretended he was on the electric guitar in FIR's Lydia. did wu ding with jiahui, where lincoln told him to just scream the top notes lol and justina wondering why cannot hear herself in the mic only to realise she didnt switch on the mic haha =D the whole world went to watch ratatouille yesterday. everybody catching it since prelims finally finish and heng they still showing ratatouille. its a damn cool show.. super cute! sad emily couldnt come. i bet the whole theatre heard my laughter. good lesson to teach people to dare to dream, dare to be different, dare to try new stuffs, and to be yourself. Now if i could just figure out what "myself" is to me.. enjoyable day indeed, i slept till 8, had a very filling dinner..

ubin outing! wah this is the first time my mum and dad allowed me to ubin. i been asking to go ubin since sec 3 after OBS, when jeanette would ask me to go with her. yesterday was the first time i went ubin on a non school organised event and i think it rocked. woke up so early in the morning, must be cos i'm getting used to early mornings haha. michelle and i were the only ones who reached on time.. everyone else was late. so michelle and i sat by the beach and waited as the day passed and the planes flew in. by the time everyone who's supposed to turn up turned up, we were ready for lunch haha cycled to chek jawa, it was low tide when we reached.. about 1+metres. not the lowest tide so not that much to see. we went to this rocky place near the visitor centre where we walked in the shallow water and took nice pictures.. walked the boardwalk, didnt manage to see the sandbank cos the tide wasnt low enough. but we did see some schools of fish. huge schools of fish that we decided were neater than army lol. we saw small fiddler crabs orange and white, those with one huge pincer and one small one. heard birds but didnt really spot any. the weather was too hot for birds to come out. climbed to the top of the viewing tower where i felt truly roasted. there was this tall tree that was quite nice for birds to perch but only a few small birds were there, probably swallows. and below was a mass of nipah palm. almost like a plantation, not for its neatness but cos there was so many of them. the usual lobster crab mounds with no lobster crabs cos its so darn hot. cycled back and met this father who brought his son to chek jawa. they were both on their own bikes and the little one looked kinda tired at having to cycle for so long. haha press on! i hope he had a fun time with those slopes lol. we went back to jelutong campsite for btc, and up a quarry. the quarry water was so blue so pretty =) pity i cant upload pictures cos this laptop is kinda old and doesn't have bluetooth. came home with red cheeks and red nose. never felt so red in a long time. i cant remember the last time i was even mildly sunburnt. suddenly feel healthy. like in the pink of health haha. otherwise usually see myself in the mirror with my usual green face =p haha this is damn fun =))

不能说的秘密

　　冷咖啡离开了杯垫 我忍住的情绪在很后面
　　拼命想挽回的从前 在我脸上依旧清晰可见
　　最美的不是下雨天 是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
　　回忆的画面 在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜
　　你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
　　又何必去改变 已错过的时间
　　妳用妳的指尖 阻止我说再见
　　想象你在身边 在完全失去之前
　　你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
　　或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
　　只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
　　飘落后才发现 这幸福的碎片 要我怎么捡
stuck on this =)

inspired

"Dance is life."-Pierre Dulaine

Will u dance with me?

如今此刻的我的确是有一点疲倦

like how a kid with itchy fingers like to pick at scabs, peel them before its done healing, and let it bleed some more, and then cry out that it hurts.

time to mug

Steve Jobs said

Live everyday like its your last day. Look into the mirror and ask yourself, if today were the last day of your life, will you be doing what you plan to do?

I think this is the wrong time to be thinking about this, but don't think I'm getting uninspired.. just wondering. this week a number of friends tell me how they have so many things they wanna do after A levels, and we just cant wait for this 2 months to go away. Some wanna drive, go overseas, play carefreely.. I can't wait to resume dance (i feel all the fats accumulating and snowballing already!), go teach at Discovery Camps (oh the adorable kids..) again, and finally go on an overseas CIP.. I think honestly if I were to spend today doing what I wanted to do most before I die, it probably won't be sitting at home/in library/in the canteen/in classrooms/on the couch (trying) to mug. Maybe a lot of people have this kind of sentiments now cos they're getting quite tired of mega mugging madness for the last term. Having people around you that draw up study calendars since the beginning of term 4, or half the class missing in tutorials and lectures (and almost no doubt sitting in library mugging) can be quite stressful.. I'm hoping that I can take it slow, for after prelims there's still A levels. Prelims is not the end, theres still that last lap that I don't wanna run out of breath for. From now it'll probably be very focused mugging. am pleased to say I'm ready for it. (still wanna watch mimi..) here's to a month of full time mugging. I think after today I can finally sit down and mug the whole day without thinking what's teachers going through tomorrow.. cheers. and for now, I guess Steve Jobs' advice shall be thrown out the window, and stay down there for a while, until we go retrieve it again after A levels.. We save everything for after A levels..

On a completely random note, last night rained so heavily that I felt the atmosphere was so thoroughly cleansed after that downpour. (and so was I, literally feeling like a chicken in soup when I got home, soaked through and through!) The night sky was cloudless, blacker than I've ever seen, the moon shone so brightly and the stars were shimmering. (Yes I actually saw quite a lot of stars quite clearly). I sat in my living room reading notes while enjoying the cooling winds of the night coming in through my balcony. And then the most horrible thing spoilt the night, smell of cigarette smoke wafting in.. Grr.. Who needs cigarettes on such beautiful refreshing nights like this?!

joyous occasion! =D

i'm finally getting my phone back!!! hurrah!! =D=D

Saturday.

Mega Mugging Madness. I wanted to blog about this yesterday. but had to leave for fireworks by the time I remembered to sign into blogger lol. Our J1s this year quite sweet, don't think councillors in our year were that enthu.. probably would have shot down the idea immediately. so really kudos to the j1s who thought of this idea, who defended it and those who saw in through. it was, in my opinion, really rather mad. mad thing number 1: they have free dinner buying service for us while we stay in school to mug. first there are so many people mugging in school! how many trips and how many people would they need.. second: there was this buncha ppl in my classroom who asked for KFC dunno what meal, change mash potato to cheese fries, change drink to mountain dew. and everyone came up with their own meal wif their own preferences. i thought, 'wah imagine everyone who went down to order had their own preferences..' o.O i think the j1s really deserve applause for their courage to do this. dunno whether its only for this week.. mad thing number 2: they had individually packed study packs for every J2, personalised pencils with names written with marker and with alphabet macaroni. imagine all the tedious work they put in to do this for every J2. dun matter even if they spell my name wrongly. lol. then there were sweets and coffee mix. they must have quite a big budget this year.. but then ah.. i think although mad thing number 1 was probably well received and greatly appreciated, i dun think mad thing number 2 made people very touched or anything. Even though we know it probably require a lot of effort, not many J2s felt they really appreciated the J1s packing this, or felt very spurred on to mug harder cos of their encouragement.. actually first thing that came to my mind was, wah this year they got so much time to pack these.. dun need to mug promos ah.. lol but anyway, great job 27ths.

Fireworks. so cool la.. i always watch fireworks from padang, esplanade, anywhere else except at the exact location where its supposed to be. this year go to the marina bay floating platform lei.. and the fireworks was coordinated with the music so zhuang4 guan1. usually fireworks just on its own no music or anything.. and the fireworks shot from the platform as well as the floating barges on the bay itself. i always thought fireworks must come from land cos someone need to stand there to light it haha =p i like the one that came up with a silver/white tail and exploded in purple lights. purple + silver = damn pretty =D and i like the red ones that after exploding for a while they turn into golden sizzles haha. lol i love the terms that i use. =p really ren shan ren hai, shui xie bu tong, so many people lorh.. haha but quite cool. went home real late. heng i caught my last bus back. there was this mum with the kid in my bus's queue and the poor little kid was tired and whining.. mum had to keep the kid awake.. telling him you're heavier when u're sleeping..

today. salmon salmon salmon. the taste of it is still in my mouth. omg. of all the great fish i took today only the taste of salmon still stays in my mouth lol.. went sushi tei. they are really quite zai lorh. super fresh. the salmon qq de. it was cooked, not raw de. my family ordered quite a spread. if only i had my camera phone i would take nice pictures.. my brother got the barbequed eel with sushi rice plus side dish fried baby ebi (prawn). my mum got her tempura udon that she says she cant resist not ordering it, taking something else more special instead. i got a seafood paper hot wok. cant remember its exact name. chose miso soup base. and in it was silken tofu, mushrooms, lotsa vege and carrots, large scallops, crab, prawn (omg their prawn was so crunchy and so fresh that the whole thing just came out of the shell so easily and it was sweet.. I don't ever remember having nicer prawns than this) and of course salmon. comes with some beehoon like thing inside also but I didn't know at first, so i got myself cold cha (greentea) soba. I love soba =) nicer than ramen and udon. my brother had a mixed seafood bowl that comes with rice. includes salmon roe, fresh tuna salmon crab sashimi and the japanese egg (not the chawanmushi). my dad got a ramen and a set of otoro sashimi. otoro is apparently the tuna's belly and is the best sashimi, nicest part of the tuna, nicest fish. lol on top of it all, we had more sashimi, salmon otoro and yellowtail, as well as sushi, where i took the octopus one, my mum took the squid and the double baby prawn one, my brother took the salmon, other brother took the salmon roe and the tuna, think there was 2 more but i dun remember which they are. omg delicious. lol dun wanna know how much this all amounted to...

dad in super good mood today lorh.. go vivocity buy so many things. bought my brother new adidas shoes, he always gets branded new shoes, and i havent even worn branded shoes before =/ well and my other brother got 2 pairs of levi jeans O.O congratulate him for his first 2 pairs of jeans lol. no one would believe he doesn't have his own jeans.. I may have many pairs of jeans but they all come from my aunt. i don't complain. haha my figure very difficult to get good jeans that fit well. my aunt's figure's more or less like mine so she pick all the fitting ones for me le. =p my mum spotted a nice jacket in G2000 that she thinks will fit her dress very nicely. $99. but G2000 closed by the time we went back, she tells me we're supposed to come back tomorrow to get it. I told her don't worry, its new arrival, won't run out of stock so quickly. she said, what if no more sizes? lol i'm amused. my mum's also eyeing a nice bag that i picked for her. she can't wait to get rid of her current bag. haha my dad picked it and bought it and at that time, my mum's first response was, why u buy this kind of ah ma bag for me.. LOL the bag i picked was of course much nicer ;) but she was having 2nd thoughts cos it was a little too expensive for her. and then there was promotion for spanish wines (i think its damn cool for vivocity to have a corner for spanish stuff.o.O) I think my dad got 2 Cava and a Sangria (which apparently means the Holy Grail. my family tried it when they went spain last year end, theirs was mixed on the spot and it was called Sangrael). I'm not particularly enthusiastic when it comes to wine tasting cos i don't really like the bitter aftertaste. all alcohols have bitter aftertaste =/ but i think this one's quite different. actually tastes quite nice =) haha so everyone yi ren2 yi dai4 when we went home.. tomorrow my mum's dai4 will be on its way back haha. went to look at gowns but not really in the mood to buy anything yet. havent seen something that i really like.. so man man lai la still got a lot of time. i should be mugging and doing my portfolio and personal statement now anyways.

raindom..

just a little bored..and wanted to scribble stuff here..
hehe got my first A for essay! tian..probably my one and only. but nevermind quite pleased with myself anyway..
ruthie called to say she cried reading my peer evaluation for her.. lol i just felt i had to publicise this =p
i sang a beautiful song today! (oh but no its not uploaded on my soundclick cos the song is nice but i din sing it that nicely haha..)
i slept a grand total of 3 hours in the afternoon today! ..which i dun think is very little, but i felt rejuvenated so thats good. and i sorted out my worksheets today.. and of all the documents/notes/worksheets we received for this term, GP takes a grand total of 50%! much much GP to practice and read with. GP ah GP....

What if Singapore were a person?..

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3 and my favourite HAHA! <3


Happy national day! =D

*
i wanna go listen to budak this friday evening.. anyone interested?..