Thursday, August 31, 2006
take it all in a stride
I think I very bad at making decisions. And I've always had my cake and i ate it. haii. I feel very sad, that i havent been going for odac training even though i told mr shah that i will be free. like very 对不起 odac and mr shah. somehow i missed out h3 bio.. or i completely dismissed it and decided i wun get it. and i decided long ago that i wun get the TLL attachment. so now i'm occupied, and quite busied. i was quite glad tt mr shah let me be associate odacian, but i guess he had the foresight to see that i wun stay, whatever the reasons may be. a foresight that i din haf. and i kept bugging odac to organise assoc ex, now got ex le but i'm filled. i'm filled in every holiday now, i think i din expect to fill them so fast. as much as i'd like to participate, i know that i shouldnt and hence cant, not when there are others who need to go for it more than me. and i haf a responsibility for other things that are going on as well. if i go, then i dunno who can fill the role. (or is that just my lack of confidence in other people again?)(and will you all feel secure when 2 vital people are gone?) i wonder wats the definition of an assoc odacian then, if i dun participate in assoc activities.. and next year's nite walk will be a dream. i think i should just come to terms with my decision to leave. and live with it. you can look back, but you cant turn back time. easy to say difficult to do.
Re: oof says hi =p
no problem, the blog is for ranting anyway. see the title? ^^ =) i think 不要想太多 la.so confuzzling then dun think lorhz.. think until get headache only. then unsatisfied cos no answer. 现在已经这么多东西要想了，thinking abt others only deplete lots of 精神 and 力气. meanwhile dun think until so headache la. ur analysis may not be tt accurate also, sometimes u 摸不着 dun mean they are insecure wat..aiyai i also dunno. i most not expert at this matter. anyway just plan objectively, and dun stress. well try not to. i try to help u in watever ways i can think of, even though i not very good at figuring out how to help u ><
oof says hi
Thanks dongfei, for giving me this place to come rant. I dare not write in my diary because I know once I start I won't be able to stop. Then I won't have to sleep liao... and screw up tml's reedeeculous performance. lol.
Been wondering about how some people can get so strange that they're completely not understandable. Their actions, behaviour, words... just contradict each other so much that it's confuzzling. Then there's that strange way of thinking, and their 摸不着的 character. Do they even know that they're so complex? Do they notice the loopholes? Or are they trying to hide something- a side of themselves that they're insecure with. I've already done what I can to try to understand people like that... to some of them, 我真的投降了.
Somtimes when things fly by so fast, I tend to think my feelings don't matter anymore. There's so many other things and people to watch out for, it's like I shouldn't be indulging in what I feel. 有时候想多了更累。更何况许多事都没有解答的。
STREET jia you! Tml's little perf is gonna be some bomb man... bomb in a different way. I'll try very very veryyy hard not to burst out laughing while doing the chestthrusthipthrust-ahahaha-wigglefingers step.
<33 Oof.
Been wondering about how some people can get so strange that they're completely not understandable. Their actions, behaviour, words... just contradict each other so much that it's confuzzling. Then there's that strange way of thinking, and their 摸不着的 character. Do they even know that they're so complex? Do they notice the loopholes? Or are they trying to hide something- a side of themselves that they're insecure with. I've already done what I can to try to understand people like that... to some of them, 我真的投降了.
Somtimes when things fly by so fast, I tend to think my feelings don't matter anymore. There's so many other things and people to watch out for, it's like I shouldn't be indulging in what I feel. 有时候想多了更累。更何况许多事都没有解答的。
STREET jia you! Tml's little perf is gonna be some bomb man... bomb in a different way. I'll try very very veryyy hard not to burst out laughing while doing the chestthrusthipthrust-ahahaha-wigglefingers step.
<33 Oof.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
"chicken dream" - benny
i dun feel like going to school. because lectures and tutorials seem useless to me. and i haf other things that need to be done. such that going for lectures seem to be a waste of time, cos i dun listen and end up sleeping. which is horrible. i wish i can dun go to school, and only return when i've settled whatever needs to be settled.
and recently i've been sleeping too much, against my will. and when i sleep i dream. and i remember my dreams. and they freak me. just this afternoon, i dreamt that i was cracking an egg, and the egg shell was not hard like it usually is, its like biscuit that has absorbed too much water vapour. when i got it to open, out rolled a dead frozen chick, contorted in the most weird position, with all its feathers wet and hard. freaked me out. and i can still see it distinctly.
been in horrible moods lately. getting pissed off and tired very easily. ugh theres still essay outline to do.
and recently i've been sleeping too much, against my will. and when i sleep i dream. and i remember my dreams. and they freak me. just this afternoon, i dreamt that i was cracking an egg, and the egg shell was not hard like it usually is, its like biscuit that has absorbed too much water vapour. when i got it to open, out rolled a dead frozen chick, contorted in the most weird position, with all its feathers wet and hard. freaked me out. and i can still see it distinctly.
been in horrible moods lately. getting pissed off and tired very easily. ugh theres still essay outline to do.
singapore public transport system
i think the online transport guide sucks. u gotta use so many of it together. the transitlink's eguide is one of the most useless. it tells u wat roads buses go to, wat buses there are on the roads, and what buses there are at interchanges. but it doesnt tell u wat buses there are near mrts (some mrts dun haf interchanges near them) and dun tell u how to get from one place to another. since its an eguide, may as well tell u how exactly to get from one place to another rite? oh and if u are going to click on a link at transitlink pages, rmb to right click, open in new window, because there is no such thing as "back". u gotta resend ur information which takes damn long.
sbs transit's internet guide is slightly better, cos theres a place to place option. but its really weird, cos u haf to submit only one bus stop and not just the road name. or if u give the landmark name, they insist u must choose one of the bus stops. and for some reason i dunno of, they dun tell u the nearest mrt from that landmark. u gotta use transitlink's eguide under places of interest, and not all places fall under places of interest.
and then they give u the shortest travel time bus route, but it usually consists of a few transfers. and the travel time does not include waiting time. perhaps other than giving the range of waiting time, it may be good to give the mean waiting time, cos a waiting time of 5-13 minutes doesnt tell me if its frequent or not. so travel time should have the mean waiting times added.
the way the sbs transit presents the bus routes also very weird, i think they should use a map on top of telling u the block number and road name. sometimes pictures make more sense than numbers and letters.
i think the best guide is streetdirectory.com because it gives u the maps and the direction. my incompetency in using that webpage must be the reason why i cant search for place to place bus/mrt routes directly without searching for the map of the start/end place first. the only flaw in this website is there is too many things and advertisements on the web page and that makes it highly distracting, disorganised and takes too long to load. the font that the page uses is exactly the same as their advertisements sumore. ads should never come in the middle of words. aiyaiyai
i shall talk abt THE transport system another time. i'm getting too shagged getting pissed by the guides.
sbs transit's internet guide is slightly better, cos theres a place to place option. but its really weird, cos u haf to submit only one bus stop and not just the road name. or if u give the landmark name, they insist u must choose one of the bus stops. and for some reason i dunno of, they dun tell u the nearest mrt from that landmark. u gotta use transitlink's eguide under places of interest, and not all places fall under places of interest.
and then they give u the shortest travel time bus route, but it usually consists of a few transfers. and the travel time does not include waiting time. perhaps other than giving the range of waiting time, it may be good to give the mean waiting time, cos a waiting time of 5-13 minutes doesnt tell me if its frequent or not. so travel time should have the mean waiting times added.
the way the sbs transit presents the bus routes also very weird, i think they should use a map on top of telling u the block number and road name. sometimes pictures make more sense than numbers and letters.
i think the best guide is streetdirectory.com because it gives u the maps and the direction. my incompetency in using that webpage must be the reason why i cant search for place to place bus/mrt routes directly without searching for the map of the start/end place first. the only flaw in this website is there is too many things and advertisements on the web page and that makes it highly distracting, disorganised and takes too long to load. the font that the page uses is exactly the same as their advertisements sumore. ads should never come in the middle of words. aiyaiyai
i shall talk abt THE transport system another time. i'm getting too shagged getting pissed by the guides.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
GNDB
so i went for girls nation dance battle today. was quite disappointed by the turnout. i thot there would be many many ppl gathered there to watch. turns out only those ppl who happened to be there came down to watch or came out of their shops to watch. maybe not enough advertising ba. dunno leh, but they were giving away free tickets to finals at zouk, which cost 15 bucks and the qns they ask are easy, but no one really wanted to answer. i couldnt. i cant get inside zouk.
it started with breaking by fuyou. and the crowd was how sad. fuyou was really good and they did lotsa really cool moves, and theres one of them who's very young, and when he came out to do those stunts, u would expect there to be many cheers for him. but aiya how sad - the audience is a sucky audience and dunno how to respond. even after the whole item, theres no like loud loud cheers and lots lots clapping.
then the show went on. theres 6 teams there and they all quite zai la. this round they just do their own choreoed thing and one of the teams will be ousted. theres no freestyling or any fancy thing, just they go up and dance to their song. yutaki was one of the judges. the other is sheila who's best gal dancer from some i dunno which comp.
the dances were super energy. and it really shows how much hair can help u bloat ur actions. then they also very sharp. but cos i was a lil on the wrong end of the height scale, and there were many photographers who were clogging the front areas, so i cant really see all of them. most groups got 3 ppl, then some had 4 one had 5. tt means everyone of them had to be really good and it was easy to compare ppl within the group. most of the groups had 2 ppl who really stood out from the rest. i think it comes out in their attitude/expression. ppl with the right attitude haf the necessary stage presence that makes them (look) better. and its really yux when u do ur dance without the right expression, and the other dancers have tt look. i think expression distinguishes the better from the not so good ones immediately.
i had hoped tt there would be more groups, but ok la, quite exciting. each group had their powerful side, and each group chose a different aspect to focus on. anyway i sorta know which group will be out le. the finals is at zouk and i do expect there to be more exciting things there. too bad tt i'm too young. (on a side note, the taxi driver who picked me up said i looked like i'm sec 1 ugh.. so even if i wanna sneak i cant)
it started with breaking by fuyou. and the crowd was how sad. fuyou was really good and they did lotsa really cool moves, and theres one of them who's very young, and when he came out to do those stunts, u would expect there to be many cheers for him. but aiya how sad - the audience is a sucky audience and dunno how to respond. even after the whole item, theres no like loud loud cheers and lots lots clapping.
then the show went on. theres 6 teams there and they all quite zai la. this round they just do their own choreoed thing and one of the teams will be ousted. theres no freestyling or any fancy thing, just they go up and dance to their song. yutaki was one of the judges. the other is sheila who's best gal dancer from some i dunno which comp.
the dances were super energy. and it really shows how much hair can help u bloat ur actions. then they also very sharp. but cos i was a lil on the wrong end of the height scale, and there were many photographers who were clogging the front areas, so i cant really see all of them. most groups got 3 ppl, then some had 4 one had 5. tt means everyone of them had to be really good and it was easy to compare ppl within the group. most of the groups had 2 ppl who really stood out from the rest. i think it comes out in their attitude/expression. ppl with the right attitude haf the necessary stage presence that makes them (look) better. and its really yux when u do ur dance without the right expression, and the other dancers have tt look. i think expression distinguishes the better from the not so good ones immediately.
i had hoped tt there would be more groups, but ok la, quite exciting. each group had their powerful side, and each group chose a different aspect to focus on. anyway i sorta know which group will be out le. the finals is at zouk and i do expect there to be more exciting things there. too bad tt i'm too young. (on a side note, the taxi driver who picked me up said i looked like i'm sec 1 ugh.. so even if i wanna sneak i cant)
Sunday, August 20, 2006
hypothermia
you feel a cramp coming up in your stomach, and you feel a weakness in your legs building up. you keep going cos home is not too far away. until you see that ur vision is slowly going down.. and you realise that you cannot really see anymore. you sit by the grass resting ur head on ur knee, hoping it will make you feel better. you feel as though there is a packet of ice behind your head, at the back of your neck, behind your ears, and you feel as though there is cold sweat trickling out of your ears, and you feel cold all over.. you wait for the cold behind your head to go away, and gather all your strength to make a call for help.
help came but you could not pull yourself up yet. you wait a little longer and start to take a few steps to the nearest bus stop. and you feel your vision going away again so you walk quickly until you finally make your way to the bus stop where you collapsed into the seat and huddled yourself together for warmth. you try to gather enough warmth until you feel that you will be able to take the 1 minute of cold on the bus ride to the next bus stop.
after getting off the bus, you took stops at the gate of the estate as well as at the door of the building, and after a long 25 minutes, you manage to get back home. this route usually takes 5 minutes by walking.
I'm so thankful that my brother was awake and around
life is precious. treasure it
help came but you could not pull yourself up yet. you wait a little longer and start to take a few steps to the nearest bus stop. and you feel your vision going away again so you walk quickly until you finally make your way to the bus stop where you collapsed into the seat and huddled yourself together for warmth. you try to gather enough warmth until you feel that you will be able to take the 1 minute of cold on the bus ride to the next bus stop.
after getting off the bus, you took stops at the gate of the estate as well as at the door of the building, and after a long 25 minutes, you manage to get back home. this route usually takes 5 minutes by walking.
I'm so thankful that my brother was awake and around
life is precious. treasure it
I hope you dance
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out Reconsider
Give the heavens above More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who)
I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
credits: http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/gloworm/dance.html
thanks for the song
You get your fill to eat But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out Reconsider
Give the heavens above More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who)
I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
credits: http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/gloworm/dance.html
thanks for the song
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
另一张脸
刮了一阵大风 莫名其妙变天
无缘无故心情灰
站在窗前感觉就算世界少了我
其实也无所谓
蠢蠢欲动黑暗那一面
不停的在变形 吞掉我的极限
陷在又冷又黑的悲观里
就像出了另一张脸
看着这张陌生的脸 自己都讨厌
觉得心情起伏不定 没有人了解
觉得孤独想大声哭 觉得活得累
觉得一切一切 全都虚伪
我就像个傻子一样 笑着过一天
想要看着你的微笑 相信有明天
想要留下那一分钟 快乐的感觉
偏偏这张脸在我 意志脆弱 无奈 又胡思乱想
害怕时间出现 不了解
看不见 灰的脸 我的脸
I think this song is a wonderful song. Not cos i'm feeling like some depressed dejected blob now and that I can identify with the feelings.. but rather how sun yanzi brings out the whole angsty feeling in this laidback jazzy piece. Sounds like a paradox in itself. The accompaniment sorta paints the scenery of walking down some lonely, fallen leaves filled french road. The words run over quite fast and that usually gives a feeling of someone so stressed and troubled yet it matches perfectly with the freestyle jazzy accompaniment. And then the melody.. I think she's such a pro to manipulate her voice so well. she switches her voice from normal tone to the false high tone at the tails of notes without losing the power. Usually when people switch to false tones, the power of the voice dips, and gives the song a lack of uniformity in terms of timbre. However, in this song, the false tone bits and the switches helps to bring out the 不知所措 feeling without sounding too busy for a relatively relaxed accompaniment. And the lyrics are nice without being too chim. Some pro some pro. The song writer's a pro, the composer and arranger both pros, and the singer's some pro. wonderful piece.
无缘无故心情灰
站在窗前感觉就算世界少了我
其实也无所谓
蠢蠢欲动黑暗那一面
不停的在变形 吞掉我的极限
陷在又冷又黑的悲观里
就像出了另一张脸
看着这张陌生的脸 自己都讨厌
觉得心情起伏不定 没有人了解
觉得孤独想大声哭 觉得活得累
觉得一切一切 全都虚伪
我就像个傻子一样 笑着过一天
想要看着你的微笑 相信有明天
想要留下那一分钟 快乐的感觉
偏偏这张脸在我 意志脆弱 无奈 又胡思乱想
害怕时间出现 不了解
看不见 灰的脸 我的脸
I think this song is a wonderful song. Not cos i'm feeling like some depressed dejected blob now and that I can identify with the feelings.. but rather how sun yanzi brings out the whole angsty feeling in this laidback jazzy piece. Sounds like a paradox in itself. The accompaniment sorta paints the scenery of walking down some lonely, fallen leaves filled french road. The words run over quite fast and that usually gives a feeling of someone so stressed and troubled yet it matches perfectly with the freestyle jazzy accompaniment. And then the melody.. I think she's such a pro to manipulate her voice so well. she switches her voice from normal tone to the false high tone at the tails of notes without losing the power. Usually when people switch to false tones, the power of the voice dips, and gives the song a lack of uniformity in terms of timbre. However, in this song, the false tone bits and the switches helps to bring out the 不知所措 feeling without sounding too busy for a relatively relaxed accompaniment. And the lyrics are nice without being too chim. Some pro some pro. The song writer's a pro, the composer and arranger both pros, and the singer's some pro. wonderful piece.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
its my 2nd time blogging today.dunno why blog so much. maybe cos i'm still pissed with my mum.ugh.
for some reason that i dunno of, i decided to come up with a list of things that i want. its want, cos i can live without them, even tho life could be so much better with them.
1. my converse jacket. i've no idea how i lost it. its not like its damn damn pretty or what. but its useful. and somehow got some attachment to it liao. and i wan it back. of course the horrid person who abducted it wun return it..i should get another for myself soon..
2. a memory stick. if possible, a camera. i think that many times there are nice moments that shouldnt be forgotten. like witnessing a tree being cut down. or seeing a cockatoo or bat fly pass my window. and my home camera always no memory stick. and most of the time also no batt. some useless camera. and my dad hates to bring camera out. so i really wan my own. so when i go overseas, i dun haf to rely on my dad's camera. well he dun trust me with it anyway. so i always go overseas with no cam. how sad.
3. heels. cos i haf no heels. and i dun look good in heels. but shoes dun suit all clothes and occasions. and heels haf their uses too...sometimes elevation is quite impt
4. a watch. i think i have no luck with watches. new ones always spoil like not too long after they were bought. =S i've been relying on my handphone. which can get quite useless when its exam time. and hp watches are not as accessible as a wrist watch. so like Mr Jeff, the guy at the ST Uni talk thing said, ppl should get watches.
5. a smaller bottle. this one is too big. it lasts me for 2 weeks. which is quite disgusting. and theres no loop to hold it. ok i'm being picky.
why liddat. this year is horrid year to get anything. cos i lose all of them. esp if someone else get for me. and some things become quite useless if u dun bring them out. and bringing them out means risking losing them. ahh
i best. i was gonna get them for myself. but i spent the money on shinhwa concert already. but its worth it.. its prolly their only concert in singapore, since they are growing old, and will be gone soon. so its worth going for the concert.. except that i would need heels
*
i dun understand. is it very hard to trust me? or is it just my parents. or is it just my mum. aieeee
for some reason that i dunno of, i decided to come up with a list of things that i want. its want, cos i can live without them, even tho life could be so much better with them.
1. my converse jacket. i've no idea how i lost it. its not like its damn damn pretty or what. but its useful. and somehow got some attachment to it liao. and i wan it back. of course the horrid person who abducted it wun return it..i should get another for myself soon..
2. a memory stick. if possible, a camera. i think that many times there are nice moments that shouldnt be forgotten. like witnessing a tree being cut down. or seeing a cockatoo or bat fly pass my window. and my home camera always no memory stick. and most of the time also no batt. some useless camera. and my dad hates to bring camera out. so i really wan my own. so when i go overseas, i dun haf to rely on my dad's camera. well he dun trust me with it anyway. so i always go overseas with no cam. how sad.
3. heels. cos i haf no heels. and i dun look good in heels. but shoes dun suit all clothes and occasions. and heels haf their uses too...sometimes elevation is quite impt
4. a watch. i think i have no luck with watches. new ones always spoil like not too long after they were bought. =S i've been relying on my handphone. which can get quite useless when its exam time. and hp watches are not as accessible as a wrist watch. so like Mr Jeff, the guy at the ST Uni talk thing said, ppl should get watches.
5. a smaller bottle. this one is too big. it lasts me for 2 weeks. which is quite disgusting. and theres no loop to hold it. ok i'm being picky.
why liddat. this year is horrid year to get anything. cos i lose all of them. esp if someone else get for me. and some things become quite useless if u dun bring them out. and bringing them out means risking losing them. ahh
i best. i was gonna get them for myself. but i spent the money on shinhwa concert already. but its worth it.. its prolly their only concert in singapore, since they are growing old, and will be gone soon. so its worth going for the concert.. except that i would need heels
*
i dun understand. is it very hard to trust me? or is it just my parents. or is it just my mum. aieeee
fireworks!
its minggy's bday today!
and its a very extra school day. that ended super super late. but it was such an extra school day, that ruth and i were some-bomb-dam high today that ppl thot i was a lil more than just retarded...
been so in the mood to celebrate national day lately. maybe cos this year i ish perfed twice for national day and i watched ndp and i love the theme song and i went to ndp.org.sg to download all the past year national day songs as well and i sang along with all the gusto thingies..hahahha
i really like this year's theme song's melody. (the words arent very good, and the english lyrics are quite crap. the chinese one's nicer) and i like kaira's voice. its very shu2 fu2 to hear. been singing it for the whole day. funny how i only sing it after national day itself lol.
and today as a conclusion to the festival of national day, we went to watch ze fireworks! =))
ok it wasnt a conclusion to the festvial of national day, it was celebration of minggy's bday!
we reached like 1 hour early and managed to get quite good spot... until people started crowding around us and we couldnt really see very well and i pitied all the kids around cos they were also having a hard time looking. but haha we were on slightly elevated ground. which is good cos after we stand up, we get full view of the fireworks!
and it was amazing. not the fireworks but how u see a sea of cameras and handphone cameras in the foreground of all the fireworks.. its like watching from those screens is more exciting than the real thing itself. anyway the fireworks were good.. and i luv the sawdust bits that came down ever so slowly. oh pretty pretty. golden ones were the bestest.
and we went for icecream after that. which we queued for 15 mins for and waited for half an hour before they served us.. haiyaiyai. and the ice cream that came was like half melted and all liquidy.. aieesh. we stayed out till kinda late..except i din find it that late.. its just our parents who thought "omg why is my daughter coming home at such late times"..
and my mum went to imagine wat could i be doing that made me come home so late.. haii she has wild imaginations. which were reflected in her loud loud screamings at me when i got home.. eesh
written 12aug 00:25am
and its a very extra school day. that ended super super late. but it was such an extra school day, that ruth and i were some-bomb-dam high today that ppl thot i was a lil more than just retarded...
been so in the mood to celebrate national day lately. maybe cos this year i ish perfed twice for national day and i watched ndp and i love the theme song and i went to ndp.org.sg to download all the past year national day songs as well and i sang along with all the gusto thingies..hahahha
i really like this year's theme song's melody. (the words arent very good, and the english lyrics are quite crap. the chinese one's nicer) and i like kaira's voice. its very shu2 fu2 to hear. been singing it for the whole day. funny how i only sing it after national day itself lol.
and today as a conclusion to the festival of national day, we went to watch ze fireworks! =))
ok it wasnt a conclusion to the festvial of national day, it was celebration of minggy's bday!
we reached like 1 hour early and managed to get quite good spot... until people started crowding around us and we couldnt really see very well and i pitied all the kids around cos they were also having a hard time looking. but haha we were on slightly elevated ground. which is good cos after we stand up, we get full view of the fireworks!
and it was amazing. not the fireworks but how u see a sea of cameras and handphone cameras in the foreground of all the fireworks.. its like watching from those screens is more exciting than the real thing itself. anyway the fireworks were good.. and i luv the sawdust bits that came down ever so slowly. oh pretty pretty. golden ones were the bestest.
and we went for icecream after that. which we queued for 15 mins for and waited for half an hour before they served us.. haiyaiyai. and the ice cream that came was like half melted and all liquidy.. aieesh. we stayed out till kinda late..except i din find it that late.. its just our parents who thought "omg why is my daughter coming home at such late times"..
and my mum went to imagine wat could i be doing that made me come home so late.. haii she has wild imaginations. which were reflected in her loud loud screamings at me when i got home.. eesh
written 12aug 00:25am
Thursday, July 27, 2006
翅膀
同样的机场 不同时间
同样的咖啡 不同味觉
同样的我和我都少了一些
看飞机划过天空不见了
用你给我的翅膀飞 我懂这不是伤悲
再高都不会累 我们都说好了
用你给我的翅膀飞 我感觉已够安慰
乌云也不再多 我们也不为谁掉眼泪
空气里藏着你的香味
回忆里躲着你的眼泪
最后拥抱的温暖还有一些
我拖着行李往前一只走
看一看回忆 是云朵一朵朵的飘过
若想要回头 就无法翱翔
乌云也不再多 我们也不为谁掉眼泪
同样的咖啡 不同味觉
同样的我和我都少了一些
看飞机划过天空不见了
用你给我的翅膀飞 我懂这不是伤悲
再高都不会累 我们都说好了
用你给我的翅膀飞 我感觉已够安慰
乌云也不再多 我们也不为谁掉眼泪
空气里藏着你的香味
回忆里躲着你的眼泪
最后拥抱的温暖还有一些
我拖着行李往前一只走
看一看回忆 是云朵一朵朵的飘过
若想要回头 就无法翱翔
乌云也不再多 我们也不为谁掉眼泪
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Fashion shows
those that tv mobile keep showing from 6pm onwards on channel newsasia and it bores the hell out of me.
i think fashion shows are stupid and impractical. firstly, the models dun look good. its not like they haf the wonderfullest of bods. i mean they look like they came from the parts of africa where they dun have enough food, and were painted white like wat happened to michael jackson. their face look like barbie dolls come alive, or like life sized moving wax figurines. and their legs are like sticks. so skinny that their hips look too big for them. and their torso is too puny too. and wen they wear low cleavage things, it looks quite sad cos its not like they got very much in the middle. they seriously look malnourished. and i think they look so hostile and dao. they could at least smile in their pose. or are they supposed to look damn bu shuang and kiampah in that apparently very nice outfit?.. and the designers design impractical clothes. they are designed to fit tt particular model. meaning it is how small and tight and no normal human will be able to wear that. besides, i dun think tt their designs are very nice either. maybe i just dun haf an eye for design and fashion. too high class for me.
*
today is horrible. i feel like my brain has a shortage of blood and my lungs are in some compression machine. and i try to breathe deeply but it makes the pain in the head and the lungs even worse. argh. i wonder wats wrong with me. it feels like my blood vessels have all constricted. but i'm sure i dun haf a heart problem, and i do think tt my heart is pumping well enough. at least it is on normal days other than today.
i think fashion shows are stupid and impractical. firstly, the models dun look good. its not like they haf the wonderfullest of bods. i mean they look like they came from the parts of africa where they dun have enough food, and were painted white like wat happened to michael jackson. their face look like barbie dolls come alive, or like life sized moving wax figurines. and their legs are like sticks. so skinny that their hips look too big for them. and their torso is too puny too. and wen they wear low cleavage things, it looks quite sad cos its not like they got very much in the middle. they seriously look malnourished. and i think they look so hostile and dao. they could at least smile in their pose. or are they supposed to look damn bu shuang and kiampah in that apparently very nice outfit?.. and the designers design impractical clothes. they are designed to fit tt particular model. meaning it is how small and tight and no normal human will be able to wear that. besides, i dun think tt their designs are very nice either. maybe i just dun haf an eye for design and fashion. too high class for me.
*
today is horrible. i feel like my brain has a shortage of blood and my lungs are in some compression machine. and i try to breathe deeply but it makes the pain in the head and the lungs even worse. argh. i wonder wats wrong with me. it feels like my blood vessels have all constricted. but i'm sure i dun haf a heart problem, and i do think tt my heart is pumping well enough. at least it is on normal days other than today.
Autistic kids
are so special. i think i wanna do cip wif autistic kids someday. they get hard to handle sometimes. and things usually go slower and it requires lots of patience to deal with them. they think in absolute logic and are very capable in drawing and putting things in perspective. i wonder wat goes on in an autistic child and how he thinks through things. do all autistic children think similarly? do they find being autistic an illness? how does an autistic child feel when being treated like a normal human in human circumstances? wat is it that makes it so hard for an autistic child to be in the same environment as a normal child?
Saturday, July 22, 2006
原来
街灯绊住我眼前下一步
拉长的影子嘲弄的回顾
电话亭里留着你留话
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺得跟着我难分难离
原来最寂寞的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
我也会不留一点痕迹..
拉长的影子嘲弄的回顾
电话亭里留着你留话
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺得跟着我难分难离
原来最寂寞的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
我也会不留一点痕迹..
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
有时候...
有时候，当有人说要做某样东西，却没做到，你会觉得，他只是口头说说罢了，没有诚心的。有时候，有人深深相信，不管做什么，只要定下心一定要做，再忙也一定能找出时间做。但有时候，事情不在自己的掌控之中，怎样都做不成，也只好让机会一次又一次的擦肩而过，心中却是一次一次的一阵一阵的酸。这叫做“心有余而力不足”吗？总是觉得那句话用太多了，已经不能表现那种感情了。
有时候，在生活的喧嚣，时间流逝的太快，来不及整理好自己的心情，直到发现我们已渐渐的失去自我。在这快速的生活里，人们为了应付社会种种的要求，早晚奔波，每个人的生活都大同小异，性格是否也会变得大同小异？能像陈子谦（Royston Tan) 那样，勇敢走出自己的道路，闯出自己的天空的人，已寥寥无几。许多年小时的志愿，都留在年小时的岁月。要挽回，却得费那么多精力，赶着追上时间的我们，有足够剩余的精力吗？
有时候，生活中会有那么一些时候，心中就只有快乐，也不知这莫名的快乐从何处来。但快乐总是短暂的，而快乐时，心中深知，快乐后，紧接着的一定是一段心情消沉的日子。消沉的日子，也总是特别久...
有时候，在生活的喧嚣，时间流逝的太快，来不及整理好自己的心情，直到发现我们已渐渐的失去自我。在这快速的生活里，人们为了应付社会种种的要求，早晚奔波，每个人的生活都大同小异，性格是否也会变得大同小异？能像陈子谦（Royston Tan) 那样，勇敢走出自己的道路，闯出自己的天空的人，已寥寥无几。许多年小时的志愿，都留在年小时的岁月。要挽回，却得费那么多精力，赶着追上时间的我们，有足够剩余的精力吗？
有时候，生活中会有那么一些时候，心中就只有快乐，也不知这莫名的快乐从何处来。但快乐总是短暂的，而快乐时，心中深知，快乐后，紧接着的一定是一段心情消沉的日子。消沉的日子，也总是特别久...
Monday, July 17, 2006
happy day
very happy day. must be cos i started out laffing a lot and a lot. hahahaha.. for known and unknown reasons, today is a very happy day. this means i can start adding stress on myself.. its finding me anyway. tired nite. yawn.. shoot. cant slp now. got to do work..=(
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
ever felt like u were walking on a very tight rope and u can fall anytime?
ever felt like ur brain was some rubber band and u can see the ends breaking away and its about to snap anytime?
ever felt like u're so screwed theres no way life could go on?
gah why must parents take such drastic measures sometimes? when the child goes insane, do u go insane too?
why sometimes parents just dun understand?
why do parents sometimes take steps that makes things worse and dun solve problems?
why do u sometimes feel u haf no whr to explode into?
wth shoulda expected tt
ever felt like ur brain was some rubber band and u can see the ends breaking away and its about to snap anytime?
ever felt like u're so screwed theres no way life could go on?
gah why must parents take such drastic measures sometimes? when the child goes insane, do u go insane too?
why sometimes parents just dun understand?
why do parents sometimes take steps that makes things worse and dun solve problems?
why do u sometimes feel u haf no whr to explode into?
wth shoulda expected tt
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