C n Y

should have blogged this 2 nites ago but nvm. last nite trying to mug bio and econs (tho i ended up barely mugging bio and din even touch econs). nite before busy wif street CIP thingums. so difficult to stay awake to burn hiphop songs. so not me la..i used to listen to pop hiphop and high things to keep me bouncing and awake hahaha. 人老了.. what can i say..lol

anyways.this new year got sister clan gathering! at first i thot was class gathering one. but turn out is just sisters. aiya sister clan always end up only me justina jiahui and lincoln leh. lincoln isnt even a sister. but how jiahui too attractive liao, lincoln+jiahui=inseparable HAHAHA we play mahjong, eat lincoln's wonderful food and did econs essay. lol so fun la. my brain is no works properly that day so anyhow suan4 tai2.. and i was supposed to abstain from horrible food cos of my horrible throat (haha still haf quite a sexy voice now lehs hahaha) but doritoes rock XP lol what happened to my ability to resist temptation?! haha lincoln made zaii food! bak kut teh + cheese baked rice + herbal chicken ahhh zaiiii.. and also got some veges la we not that carnivorous. oh yes yes justina says must post pictures!

^^everyone looks happy making jiahui our food lol

lincoln also made nice brownies! complete wif haagen daz rum raisin ice cream! my throat died.. haha not bad..justina and i help to do econs essay and we get nice brownies. lol rocks!

**

today ruth and i ran 2km! haha feel so accomplished. so long never run liao feels good to run. and then after that feel my sweat drip drip and then do stomach exercise haha. but dunno why. look mirror like getting fatter =( so sad la..ppl can eat less exercise more and grow thin. but i eat less exercise more also reman this size or grow bigger.. i dun think i exercise that much to grow muscles wat. the amount of dance i do is not like uber a lot..still cannot grow thin. haii. went to measure my tummy and butt haha.. i beat justina! =D

At the beginning

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.

suddenly so into disney songs..loves anastasia and lion king! <3<3 haha!

take.5

din even intend to go for take.5. no need to go liao since no responsibility to be judge or taking part in event. sumore ruth and my sister clan people all busy with sth, and siok prolly wun come. in horrible mood in the night la..my daddy dun let me play mahjong -_- even had my letter ready. slept uber early, then autowake up at 7.. so decided i'll go and support benny and experiment wif my hp's video function. heh my lousy phone can only video 20 secs at a time..gave up videoing.. on one hand cos my hp plthed and on the other hand i wanted to watch! =p really some zai shit la

after take.5 went out wif sister clan. watched bball. then emily had to zao and the bus took too long to come. we went for some seafood soup place and jiahui wanted to treat us to dessert. where i had nice aloe vera and sea coconut. went taka's nike shop =D=D=D saw Boa!! so chioo.. take pictures!!!! haha purposely go there to take pictures one hehehe

then justina and i decided to be piggy and go eat CNY samples haha. got bengawan solo goodies =D=D and then got seaweed stuffs, honey comb biscuits hehe so happy haha we went to admire royce chocs and then wen pool. ahaha first time i pool leh. not bad. the balls actually went in =D justina says: look pro. lol it works! until quite late liao then go back. ok la made me feel happier after my dad refusing to lemme play mahjong last nite.

**

maybe i should blog a bit about vday also. so many flowers in the school. 百花齐放 haha. lincoln wrapped ms nair nice bunch of roses. picture on my class blog. justina had a box of love:

jiahui got sleeping pigs. and i took a picture with my brother haha but i look unglam and messy in that pic so i wun post it HAHA gerald gave me flower but like all real flowers that die, i think its in its later stages now. (haii my fingers are red..no tinge of green in them. plants in my hands never fail to die prematurely) so its upside down and hopefully it will dry nicely =p

reading

reading gp is good. it has made me more aware. i think it has. or at least more informed..despite the lag. history is quite an exciting subject. then look at all the intl relations.

aieesh anyway. i think doing CIP here is very weird. although the kids we are working with are apparently low income families, somehow i feel like theres sth not quite right. and its not only recently that i hear about such stuffs. i always thot that kids from low income families will be the first to learn that following material and fashion trends are but empty superficiality, since they are supposed to be deprived. everyone has handphones by p3, with fancy hp dangling things. everyone wears converse or adidas shoes, everyone carries zinc bags, everyone has a nike bottle.. i always thot that compared to their peers, deprived kids will learn to grow up faster. maybe i was wrong. or maybe its because of the environment that they live in. perhaps one that i will never get to understand. maybe they live in an environment where non-conformist renders you an outcaste. so for those who do not possess such things, do not go for manicures, do not have an inclination for fashion and material stuff, they really dun fit in.. and to fit in, one must posess such goods and put on a character that is in line with the rest of the peers. so maybe its not their fault that they seem so spoilt and demand for branded look good stuff. maybe its cos of the society they are in. and wen we go for CIP, tuitioning or what not, as a senior who is supposed to help them, i get very tempted to want to change them, change their attitudes, but i haf no idea how ><

gahh

i wish i can understand old people better. i so pissed off at my grandparents for making my dad's life so difficult. i mean. based on one small matter make the conclusion that he's not respectful, and then refuse to consider the other times when he had to wei3 qu1 or like did things that showed more respect and care than anything. but they just see the bad things.. i certainly hope this whole issue is not cos i forgot to address them during a family outing and then them coming to petty conclusions. this issue better not be the root cause of how my dad got into this kind of shit. i will tear myself apart. been watching my parents trying to satisfy my grandparents for all my life and they just seem to get pettier and pettier and nth will make them happy. ughhhhh

miss 3 days of school!

wonderful! lol feels so wonderful to miss 3 days of school. and cos in lab generally a lot of waiting time so dun really need to use brain.. except i think on monday i'll be kinda dead wif amount of hw to catch up on again.. i better finish all that i have now.. hw status now: still haf bio tutorials, GP essay, maths 11B and chem 16. which still feels like a lot.

yesterday went for cousin's 21st bday party at some club in bukit batok. the club very happening leh..got 3 weddings going on at the same time and a number of other events. there was nice cheese cake!and the place was filled with her frens from sec sch to jc as well as relatives. then she had nice buffet also. aiya anyway she ask me to dance for her so i went home to burn cd but so anticlimaxly..in the end i forgot like half the song la... like SH*******T. felt like redoing it but decided against it..later forget again then X_X. lol feel like a lil 14 year old doing dance..and then all the 21 year olds everywhere. haha then later she got her frens to come up to sing for her and then we just wu liao and eat cake. haha dunno why last nite felt like singing karaoke. haha my dad and me. but then my bro at home 10 pm waiting for us to bring food back for him. so mydad and i cannot go singing hahaha..ahhh i'm craving for kboxing. no i think not. i'm craving for karaoke at home. and sing all the old old A-mei and xu ru yun and xu meijing's songs. cos xian of singing new songs le. and at home chang zou yin also nobody care nobody know. but sad la.. only my dad and i sings. everyone else in the house no sings =( maybe wait for one day wen i own the house again, and they all go some other overseas place, i will do my own karaoking at home. close windows curtains and doors on aircon on surround sound and on full screen TV. *dreams*

the evil SATs

I absolutely shouldn’t be blogging rite now, with econs essay undone and maths tutorial undone and due tomorrow. but I’m seeing so many ppl getting so stressed up esp in this week with upcoming SATs in 2 days time. and I’m getting kinda worried for people… its like over this week people are like in this still kinda mood and everyone is like quietly boiling over.

And these 2 weeks been so hectic for street I’m so thankful for every streeter who has come down to help out during trial session and during interviews. Special thanks to emme ruth sheena who’s been organising so many things and getting so stressed and tired. when ruth came to find me today I thought, omg ruth needs a rest… and sheena just told me she’s having SATs on Saturday and she’s been so busy with all the arranging of interviews and all. and I only found out today that she having SATs.. oh my. really thank the organising ppl for all your tenacity and your willingness to come down and help and sacrifice stuff for street. and wat I’ve heard is that simin and sheena still organising more stuffs for j1s.. like O_O and simin and clarice has got SATs too!

and everyone been bugging me like how to mug for SATs and how to calculate score and stuff..and I just wanna tell them not to freak and stress so much. this pressure cooker world in RJ is really quite scary. so mind blowing that it takes ppl of great strength to keep sane. if this is going to happen for SAT II in may/june I will just freak out and die. and for the whole of the last 2 weeks, SAT is probably the most evil word around school. people pon school to mug SATs.. and teachers continue to pile work on us and we’re like terribly lagging. must seriously unlag myself. all ppl out there pls get enough sleep and take care of yourselves. I’m sure this will all pass soon. to all taking SATs this sat, jiayou jiayou! I’m sure u’ll do fine. just be patient and careful =)

heh..and we’ll have a little while to rest, before the SPAs come. ><

stagnated

OH MY O_O I’m sure I write a whole lot of stuff then I highlight and all DISAPPEAR! what the… ahh now I shall slowly try to remember what I wrote hmph. [lol I remember I have yet to show gerald tt expression hah!]

ok so here goes..
this place been super dead arh.. like hj says..dead like zombie XD schools only started for 20 days and I already craving for a break to unlag myself.
last week been the tiringest week. maybe its cos I’m growing old. somehow I remember that in sec4 there seemed to be more things to handle and I still somehow lived through it “properly”. but ruth says that there comes a time when u have so many things to do that you don’t really worry about late homework/late proposals/late presentations anymore. and since I’m still worrying about undone homework, I should still be handling fine. lol how optimistic. I think its good to brace yourself. over the last weekend I slept like pig and these 2 days managed to stay awake and finish up what I need to do. last week was so bogged down with non-work things that I KO so uncontrollably, that zombie also cannot wake me. [lol whats with the stupid rhyme] then got so pissed off at myself that my mum decided I had ‘turned bad’ [sounds like food expired..] and became defiant cos I din sleep properly for 3 days, left the comp and lights on twice, and was angsting for 3 days. what a fallacious conclusion. then start imposing unreasonable and inefficient “solution methods” like coping my hp and switching off internet at 11pm, get me pissed off to substantiate their ‘turned bad’ argument only. heh but 至少 over liao.
so my theoretically 2 month (in reality 3 month) attachment is finally going to end tomorrow. its like 又喜又悲 cos I’ll be meeting my attachment frens again! and I dun need to come back lab again! but also it’s the last time I see them and last time I will see my lab ppl also. tomorrow last day going to be quite 壮观 I see those big tables, pro poster boards, nice cloth and ribbons and flowers in the foyer of the labs. wah really some big event. I better not screw up tomorrow. hope that nothing weird will happen to me and ppl dun fall asleep in my chim chim presentation. sounds quite chim to me, but that’s the way my mentor wants it so heh. and I hope I dun look like a lego block tomorrow. blazer always make me look like rectangle. =S
tomorrow I not going school. feel suddenly liberated. like 内心的欲望终于实现 [why do i have a feeling some words i used here haf wrong connotations...><]. then can finally sit down and sort my work out. been feeling like telling teacher I dun wanna attend tutorial cos I haven’t really prepared and ask if can have another tut session wif teacher but then like the teacher got a lot of time liddat. I should just sort myself out. at least tml I can reach home earlier..like 6pm, then can start reading notes, and doing maths chem. tutorial, and must prepare for econs case study econs essay, GP compre test and hand in bio prac. all the Wednesday due things push back to thurs. lol wish me luck on thurs. hah..
by this weekend prolly J1 streeter list will be out. must go confirm their activities after interview fast fast. still have CIP that must get started. and ruth is uncontactable -_- poor girl I think she also very tired. shes reached the “don’t really worry about late homework/late proposals/late presentations” stage but she seems to be sitting there quite comfily lol. ok tt sounds quite bad. I’m sure she’ll pull herself out of there soon.

ms nair is my new ct. I think we’re so lucky to have her. but dunno how many in the class truly feel blessed to get her. shes like heavensent angel. [got classes so sad to have “lost” ms nair to us..] always feel quite sad for teachers that (suddenly) get my class cos its quite a difficult to handle class. and I like her inspiring quote thing. you are better than you think you are – if only you try. at the end of the year we can do like a quote book from ms nair. live like its your last day, learn like its your first. so hard to live like its my last day. I always seem to be living for tomorrow, cos will just keep planning for tomorrow’s stuffs. and with lagging notes, I start telling myself theres always tomorrow to cover that. lol.what if tomorrow never comes… [choi! choi! how can talk such rubbish!]
lolls I just took a break from preparation for tomorrow. I shall go back and continue writing my cards. and I better not forget my chocs tomorrow. update more another time.

一年过去了

感觉好像走了一段很长很艰苦的路，流了好多的汗血，得来的谁都看不见，只有自己心领
这段路，还要走多远...

christmas eve

have been gone for quite while..

these 2 weeks quite eventful..rain, flood, late nite dance pracs, choreoing, music mixing, having class party, gift making, shopping, chatting, and craving for happy feet =S i din find time to record after all. haha sad i din take the chance to do that while my family was away

ruth came over last friday. we watched Bi and luo zhi xiang's concert dvd. rocks. except i was too tired to be high or like take notice of the dance steps. and theres a log cake sitting in my fridge feeling quite leng3 luo4. lol we dunno wat to do with it. how do u eat that big house thing lol. i bet ruth was eyeing it. think she's always starving at my house. then must always tell her to bring food lol. then in the morning go market together haha

dance pracs been quite tiring..last weds thurs sat sun. reach home 11 plus 12 liddat. then ruth take over..and i go mix music. think i never mix music so quickly before. finish in one nite..then this week only went for one friday morning. since there wasnt much to do in the lab. feel like a lump of lard already.

my date with jeanette up till now still havent go. seems like cant find a common time. and the weather always foils our plans.. must find some day go cycling or sth..pffff..

wednesday was class party. our class parties were never really successful..but this time i thot it wasnt too bad. we had more ppl than usual and we played crappy games. and we had lots lots lots of food. i hope it isnt too much burden on our class treasury.. looking at the amount of food i wonder how much they spent getting the food. i was getting pasta and fried rice and lousy me couldnt find the normal pasta thingy in carrefour. can only find the weird overseas brands one XP organic pasta some more omg.. and i couldnt find the canned mushrooms! haha i think thats so funny..cant help laughing at myself.. the carrefour at PS just has weird arrangement. we had duck and little octopuses and there was nice dessert and chicken and salad. yes we had like a lot a lot a lot of food. which we of course couldnt finish. i dunno how we got rid of them in the end. anyway i brought back pasta and fried rice..which settled my maid's and my lunch and dinner for the next few days. so yes i've been eating my lunches and dinners.

had sherlyn over yesterday. to eat pancakes lol. my brother couldnt find the maple syrup wen we went carrefour for breakfast shopping the last time so we made do with honey. ahh pancakes rock. they smell nice look nice taste nice lalala.. and we had a video feast also. converted sherlyn into a Boa fan lol. yes Boa is good =D and also showed her M's stuffs and se7en and hyori haha. been occupying myself and not getting emo or angsty..maybe soon but not yet =)

eek..school's starting soon. yux i wan more time to prep for countdown and look for nice outfits...

自己住

my family is going overseas tomorrow night. feels quite exciting to be at home alone (and feel like the house is mine) but not as exciting as it should be leh haha. maybe ask frens to come over to 陪我 at night. parents not around can dun go home early also =p go out and play after work lol went carrefour yesterday to buy breakfasts for the next 12 days. think i'll be lazy to eat properly or buy breakfast the nite before.. scully i lazy to eat dinner also. hope i dun leave the labs too late then all the dinner places no more food. that'll be quite sad. and there better be emergency food at home so if come home late i can cook for myself haha.. i should come up of a list of things to do while my parents are away. think i'll wanna sing n dance more than ever but my ankle liddat prolly cant go dance also. lousy me made my ankle hurt a lil more after dance prac yesterday. i rock. n my music mixing prog just expired.. so i cant sing v much also..>< sad

ladida

guess wat
i'm blogging for the lab. and look at the time. lol. to be blogging from the labs at this time could mean 2 things - that i am waiting for results O_O like i dunno.. running gel or digestions.. OR i'm done and am waiting for my parents to come. today it is [rarely and happily] the latter =) yay

been leaving the labs so late lately. but the bus is always still rather crowded. the bus i takes go from harbourfront down west coast road pass NUS and then down to clementi,bkt batok, then my house. and maybe its cos its the hols and many ppl go shopping or sentosa to play and go home late, the bus is always still rather full even though i leave at like 9 or later. and without fail i will definitely find this 2 seater occupied by a sleeping kid wif another kid sleeping on the mum's lap. but i dun get pissed at that tho, even if the bus is really really crowded. somehow the kid seems to need to sleep more than one of the standing ppl need to sit o.O and everyone on the bus really seems to be in their own little music bubble. yesterday i saw this mum wif her 2 sons, prolly abt sec4 sec1, and all three had their own set of earphones connected to their personal ipod/hp/mp3... i could only tell they were a family when the mum started talking to her sons.. showing them some sms/picture on her hp or sth.

and NUS is not so deserted at night also. i see the arts or business ppl at the bus stop that i walk pass wen walking to the public bus stop outside. and theres usually ppl in the lab. but tonite i am the only person in the lab. [which explains why blogging on their computer suddenly became legal..] lol i hope my parents come soon. it is rather eerie now cos the lights are partially off..

*

ok bad. i din hang up the phone properly so my parents couldnt call me and i waited. and my dad came up to my lab to find me. so pissed at myself for making my parents go through so much trouble. ughugh.

n it is 12 am now. i am to haf started mixing. everynite i come home and tell myself to mix music and i dun mix it. and i spend time brooding over things i dun even know abt. like just feel so down over i know not wat and spend time feeling down. such a dumb thing to do yet i cant stop myself from doing tt. ugh. snap out of it and start working aiyaiyai

finished

my sats is over and i think..finished. lol..ok now its time to move on..

went back for dance prac after sats.. but my brain numbed state allowed me to choreo some ugh shit.. super no inspiration. and wen i went back, my ma said wanna go vivocity.. wah really 人挤人. i think vivo still gets quite a big number of visitors on weekends even though its been around for a while. and day before yesterday was its official opening sumore. then walk around the whole place. i think we scoured every shop there. but my family ish e best shoppers. we din buy anything! lol really see no touch lol and i'm suddenly very tempted to watch happy feet! ahhh..it looks v cute! hehehe [yesh i still haf an inclination for cartoon movies =p]

and after a whole day of standing/walking. my ankle is officially swollen. yesh one side has a lump there, unlike the other side. and its painful to squat.. =( cos last saturday, i, being the lousy and clumsy person tt i am, missed a step on the bus, and landed hard on my ankle..so its been kinda weak..and now, it rocks. ouch.

today 心血来潮 decided to clear my room. feel so proud of myself. my ma says: "wah 终于见地了" [she was referring to my floor and my table top] lol. and i am proud to say, I FOUND THE ANT NEST IN MY ROOM LIAO =D=D=D=D wonderful. maybe now there wun be so many ants around. lalala. now i haf my econs and gp file to tend to. and everything else is in order! congratulate me =D

and today, i finally discarded most of my PW things. feel so happy to discard them hehe. left oni the final EOM, WR and OP to look pretty hehehe. then threw away all the drafts that had scribbling all over. and put the rest nicely in one folder =)

i think next time wen i clear my room, i should wear a mask. otw cannot breathe. everytime i clear my room, i get a double block. ie my nose. its like trickling the whole day, cannot breathe, cannot blow. can oni sniff, but it still drips lol.

feels like a lot of things off my back liao. now haf the 2 CIP projs and my lab proj. i sincerely hope my transformations will start working. i haf a feeling my E.Coli already has ampicillin resistance before i even add the plasmid in. so my control plates grow so much E.Coli its nearly lawn. and next time, maybe i should adjust the amt of enzyme i use based on concentration instead of just following protocol. aieesh. must jiayou for my proj. and hope i finish it. may luck be with me. [ok maybe not only luck, but pls oh pls let my transformations start working =(]

and may i soon get inspiration for mixing the song. theres only ONE MORE MTH left! and we only haf 1 1/2 mins worth of dance! omg..

><

why. i feel so overloaded.

i'm highly irritated that i'm not getting my results. its the 4th week le. and theres only 4 more weeks left. and i am not happy with my progress. and i am still having problem with my initial stages of the project. i cant get my yeast (or E.coli for that matter) correctly transformed. and i dunno why i am getting contamination everywhere.maybe i should consider the use of a lab coat.. and everyone seems so busy. i feel like i'm a burden to my mentor and like my failure to transform properly and keep having to redo each stage of the transformation is making him rather disappointed. well at least it is making me very disappointed. and theres only 4 more weeks. i sincerely hope that by the end of the 8 weeks i can happily present a project that i did and not rely on my mentor and present his findings. i am bloody worried. i wish i can spend all my time in the lab 9 to 9 so that i can right all my wrongs and finish up the project. BUT i need to come back to mug...

i wish i din have so many things to do in the hols..i feel that i hadnt spent enough time mugging for my h3 and havent spent enough time mugging for my SATs which is in some dire straits... my english is so lousy that my math cant help pull my score up enough.and there are other commitments too, and i really wanna go back to school to speak to teachers so that i can get details of CIP stuffs sorted out but EVERYONE is busy and out of town and basically CIP projects that start in the hols probably cant get any substantial grounds to start properly. ugh wth am i talking abt. the proposal just cant get approved la... the teacher mentor is almost always not around. and wen she is around, nobody is free to see her. i bloody hate dragging CIP proposals. we break records dragging proposals for 1 month. i hope the class cip proposal thingy wun drag so long. its already been dragging...[and postponing things dun mean we can slack wth. its so that we have enough time to figure out stuff and not like SLACK AWAY and wait for time to pass..14dec is not tt far ugh] and 3rd dec is coming. ie ruth is coming back. and music is supposed to have been mixed. and most of the choreo done. oh my shit. i can just about explode now.

爱失控

时间
一分一秒被偷走
所谓的永久
被曾经取代后
变成恶魔
手里握着多余的温柔
独自反复思索
收藏保留
随风飞走
说来轻松

自由
是否会比较好过
原来没有
成全的背后
总有痛苦在招手
记忆停留在最初时候
星光已不再闪烁
无话可说
继续走
还是朋友

让你走
我的爱失控
藏在幸福快乐的背后
是我
逃避退缩
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
是非对错不想再多说
眼神交会时候
出卖承诺
泪在留

想通
躲在黑暗的出口
难以捉摸
是缘份的作用导致失控
还是孤独一时的冲动
抹去爱情轮廓
故事内容
谁补充
安静的尘封

世界的旋律因你而转动
就算再失控
落空
音符交织感动
就够

让你走
我不再是我
感受不到心跳的触碰
占有
转眼成空
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
徘徊梦中模糊脸孔
遗留在角落
不再轻易
地经过

wahh..this mv is damn emo..then they were in mud or something.like utter despair.. suits the song. though i still like the korean version better

se7olution

think i'm gonna be a new se7en fan =D was so happy last week that we danced to se7en's song at studiowu's fusion hiphop class lol..

i feel like i woke up damn early today.. actually i prolly slept for some 12 hours...yes..this pig slept right after dinner at 7 and woke at 8 lol..

catching up on lost sleep over the past week indeed..next week is some dieded week. and i AM freaking out.. thinking of taking leave so i can mug at home. like i'm nowhere near ready for exam..aiyaiyaiyai

today had our first dance prac for blyc.. i found out i can choreo! coolio haha i did 4 eights yay. even though 1 of the eights was quite cheater.. maybe i'll continue wif the song for another 4 eights then i should stop. otherwise everything will become too jazzy/smooth. like clarice say..my steps is the groovy type..oh well i quite like the 4 eights i did.. =D sadly farhanis and junting never come..oh wells.. see what i can come up with before next prac..yay for renewed confidence

不管世界

说我们俩在一起有多坎坷
*

been planning so far ahead recently. i'll be planning for next monday's experiments to run and my study schedule for SATs and my dreaded H3 exam. and concert and class cip. suddenly wondered. wat if after all these planning, i dun live to finish them... wun that be quite sad and disappointing.. so that the -wherever- can write that "it was such a pity she died young, she had a bright future ahead of her". xian. anyway i dun intend to end my life. just randomly wondering. accidents are never planned...

oh wells. i think this saturday quite die. i havent choreod anything for u all to learn >< cos i been feeling very afraid for SATs and mugging without feeling any better. and my inspiration for steps were whitewashed after attending girls hiphop class that..totally freaked me out. i think i'll continue being cor lor and do hard hiphop...and i have a super strong urge to go back to the labs on saturday. aiyaiyai...

想见你，

没有你，城市再炫也没意义，热闹的全都是你的幻影
想见你，心太急，狂奔拥挤的人群里。多希望下一秒就见到你
(= 无印良品 rocks

why is it that all teens find that their parents are not supportive in what they are doing, not "loving/accepting them for who they are" and feel that their parents have this set of ideals by which they want their child to turn out to be and seek ways and means to make the child fit this set of ideals. ideals like...getting straight As, coming back from school obediently, going for academic attachments and competitions, no staying out beyond 8pm, no arcade, no lan, dun buy music albums of idols, dun buy computer games, dun spend pocket money on things other than lunch... OMG

heh i told myself at the beginning of this year (or rather at the end of last year) that i will be obedient this year and not make my parents upset by not doing things that will make them worried. but wth. parents get harder and harder to please.. especially when u start having an idea of how you wan ur life to be and its going against ur parents ideals

so i save to pursue what i want and my mum says i have too much money. my mum says the same thing when my bro saves so he can get NBA live and FIFA in alternating years. and lucky him has an older bro to save with him. they share cost. how wonderful economies of scale can be. 为什么突然觉得好像孤军作战？but things are different, my dad is also interested in such gaming and says "if you ask i would have given you the money to buy that" and i enroll in a dance class and they make a huge hoo ha out of it like wth. i've done it before, they made noise before, why cant they bloody accept it? noise made once is enough.

and they keep asking me to study. 要考钢琴的时候又不见他们这么关心，还跑去外国，考试都不知道。怎么突然这么紧张？又不是他们在考。they think my holidays only have 3 things to worry about: attachment, SATs and H3. i dream my life so simple. i wont want a life that so mundane pls. i'll rather make myself damn busy and highly active than just worry about those 3 things during my holidays. just so happens that everything is coming at the wrong time and everything is packed into this one week. I'm sure i mug H3 and SATs and choreo and come up wif various various proposals. but i cant complain. i asked for it. so i handle it. damn. i need to slp now.

do people ever get tired of STUDYING..i mean i probably wun get tired of learning but studying? dammit.

偶尔胆怯你能了解

站在十字路的交点 该怎么走 我却只剩回头

*
Yes everyone will be leaving..or has left. for some place or another. like the whole school is going overseas CIP or overseas sth. my fanily is going spain portugal (europe again! without me!) my dad gonna spend christmas at taiwan. vanessa is overseas, ms low is gone and gone, ruth has left for cambodia, odac has left for aust. lol. maybe i should take this as a time to 闭门思过 (is there such a phrase?) and like sit down and wonder what are the things that need my attention and need me to do, and to mug for SATs. mann..i know the SATs are damn near. and i'm like how prepared for it.. i'm getting 79% which is HORRIblE. like.. throw me out the window =S

and just last week i was thinking about how to play this hols. how to spend my hols so that i feel that i've done all things interesting and i've spent my hols living. i think, i'll still be living. albeit in a different way. enjoyment in the lab is quite different from going out to play, skating, camping, cycling, watching the sky the trees the waters and the birds, watching movie, dancing, singing, shopping...and i told myself i'll play when SATs are over. but i realised i cant, cos thats when i drill for eoy perf. (and also if i only go dance then, i would be missing out on the christmas deals at studio wu lol) ugh SATs are sticky things. i should just mug and get it over and done with. but now. i'm telling myself, 3 things, mug, street and lab. ok so i should focus and concentrate now. (I cant believe i'm actually looking up the syllabus of advanced placement tests -_-) ugh yes focus.

ahhhh need to sort things out.. all the CIP projects' details and i need to plan a timetable..so that i can do enough practices and go for SATs feeling prepared =X oh my tian

....and gerald just told me "dun stress" today =X

你能体谅我有雨天

pw is finally over. a little late to report on this though. with my anxiety for it to finish, i'm quite surprised i only blogged about it today. i think our ORAL presentation was ok considering we only dry runned once and quickly went through that morning. but we din doll it up with anything else so dunno if the grp coordination part will suffer. but our project..also cannot really do anything. anyway dun think le. if i suddenly get inspiration i shall be quite sad. haha lincoln and yilin suddenly had inspiration that we could have done on food instead, then can give the assessors food to eat. anyway its over. so, good.

4 days of attachment at lifesc labs. quite interesting to see wat goes on in research labs. and lab sessions are not rare things that bring occasional fun now, u wan to walk into lab, its just next door. lol but quite weird. today i was preparing the agarose gel, then getting 90ml of TAE buffer, then got measuring cylinder no dropper. haha like i walk around the whole lab cannot find any dropper! like amazing..only have micropipettes no dropper. i'm sure i use micropipettes to add dropwise to the bottom meniscus. LOL i managed to find one in a bottle of sterile water, after using it, i was wondering how to wash..with sterile water? then the water not sterile anymore sia.. =S

today rained like bomb. it literally poured. and i just went to sc library to borrow some damn heavy big book, then it poured. i was like shoot how to get back to the labs. then managed to stay in shelter until i got to the bus stop opposite the labs. the bldg is on a hill like thingy, and its opposite the bus stop and it was pouring. so hugging the 2 big books i ran up..(ye wen i go for lunch in the afternoon i dun bring umbrella..X[) lousy lousy. wen i got up i looked like i just came back from a bath.. lol

eeeeeeeeeeeee

no i din see some bug..i dun react like tt to bugs
i'm irritated by e weather n my nose.. the humidity is probably some 200% now. i'm amused its not raining yet. even my airplant is taking longer than normal to dry..but the tips are still burnt black. i've cut like almost half of the leaf away alredy.. airplant pros! tell me wat to do! i wan it to flower at least once before it dies =( if i'm not wrong, my plant is e ionata. cant confirm which species cos they all look quite similar to me.my other plant is growing alright i think. it looks more alright than my ionata. my ionata is growing on the odac rock now. maybe wen it flowers i'll bring it to show hammie =p hmm maybe it needs some fertiliser...
i've finally finished my signup for SAT..now i need to go n find books. oh my tian..if i dun get full marks or near..i'm dead

EAI music called me today and asked if i would like to audition for their production next year. concert or something. i went to audition last year end when i was bored and had nothing to do. then they told me to sign up for a really ex package that my parents will never ever agree to. dunno wat they will show me this time...aiyai..how to prac anyway. got street concert and got attachment. wat can they do wif me unless they only see me on saturday...zhen shi xin you yu er li bu zu..

my nose stucks

i think its the drastic change of temperature. The afternoons are freaking hot and the nights are freaking cold. and my bloody nose (yes its quite bloody now) cant stop getting blocked. and just yesterday i managed to clear it after singing for some 4, 5 hours. (oh i hope i din cause much damage to the ears of those within 20 metres up down left right..) and my throat gets horribly painflu when i sniff so hard =( so imagine the kind of noise my poor neighbours have to deal with. be thankful you are not my neighbour. and now it is horribly painful again. i have finished my 3rd bottle of family sized pi2 pa2 gao1 in the last 4 months. I think thats a world record and now i have no more for tomorrow cos my mum only goes to buy groceries on saturday. (yes i'm very loser and wun buy my needs myself) ugh.. with a stucked nose i doubt i'll be able to taste lincoln's delicious dinner tomorrow hahahaha.. it better go away. otherwise 白费 lincoln de 工夫 =p

5 days left

today i am happy. cos i din wake up to hear my brother on the comp playing fifa. cos i din leave the house hearing my brother's super noisy dota. and for the first time i see both of them mugging. (hah. finally.. after 2 school designated mugging days they are spending the last one in a worthy manner) and i walked in the rain and cold wind today. rocks

weroiu bantrmslk zx

its been more than a week since i blogged. i used to blog much more. oh wells
i watched the last ep of goong today and skipped all the in betweens. i dun like the ending. so i shall not faithfully watch finish the entire series. it is making me very tired and it feels super draggy. it doesnt even feel like an ending to me. was very afraid that there would be no end to the story so i went to watch the last ep directly. i think this is the first time i watch movie/drama go directly to the end cos i was afraid i'd hate the ending. somehow i managed to persist through the other dramas even tho the middle looks quite hopelessly sad. thinks that the xiao lv super poor thing la, he's been suffering and in pain since the beginning right through to the end of the show. haii i was hoping something nicer would happen, turns out everything returned back to the beginning. so dumb aieesh

i wish for a holiday. i hate the feeling of jc life being a time to build up ur resume so u can get into some zai university. i wanna sit at home for these 2 months, go for a holiday far far away with my family, read more chinese books, nice novels, books on birds and wildlife, go on coral walks, work with kids, get the oven to work and make something nice, go kayaking, go skating... xian

i'm freaking myself out.
My internet explorer opens with 2 tabs. One is the SAT registration webpage, and one is the testakers course timetable. The course that i would have to attend to go for SATs on 2nd dec has alredi begun for 3 weeks. but if i sign up now, and they lemme in halfway, i would still have covered everything if i go for the extra help sessions. The registration deadline for the SAT test is 9 days away. meaning i must make my decision fast. the class will cost $1550 more expensive than jex. and if i dun go, i will definitely take longer than less than 1 month to prepare for the SAT. i am in some shit. and piano exam is in 6 days. ><

wahh how were my promos? they were BAAAD!!! lol haii.. life goes on. i'm irritated by today's heat. and i'm irritated by my still very painful throat =< and i'm sick of dragging OP dry run.. but could not be helped. i've slept like half my day away and i still feel like sleeping now. some pig am i. i've finished half the family size bottle of the pi2 pa2 gao1.. and my throat is still dying aaaaaa! can school end like..now.. xian xian xian

ms chuah cheat my feelings.. wen i asked abt my econs she said i did ok.. i was like orh. ok..is as expected is it? cos i was predicted a C for econs. so i thot ok.. the bet i win le. why she say i do ok only.. i think i did well la. can count the position in class so thats very good..considering last time i ish E one. then thats not all. she say she not teaching in j2! aiyoyoyo how can liddat? if liddat my econs ish E again! =< i hope ms chuah can stay. cos i understand it wen she teaches. dunno if will be the same if other econs tchr teach. and wen ms chuah came, i stopped sleeping inclass! and econs sounded less like hindi to me! haii.. ms chuah dun zao!

Chasing Cars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Have said too much
But not enough

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all


真的
我努力的仰着脸孔
试着眼泪不往下流
别往下流
不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相同
很不相同
想要说
却还沉默
伸出手
无法触碰
天空突然一片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我
在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活
闭上眼让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我
在另外一个没有我的世界
自由的走

new specs

haha for those who have been bugging me about my 圆圆 specs, i have finally changed it hahahaha. and ppl's response very funny. i think i must look really comical in my new specs. justina and ruth's first reaction was to laugh. ruth decided i came from outer space. my brother decided i look less like his sister and more geek. jiahui and haojin thot i looked ok and better than last time. me? i decided tt i can see better with my old specs and will have a lower tendency to fall down the stairs in my old specs. hahaha. and the new specs lens very small, and very far from my eyes. so like half my vision is gone lol. and i haf a feeling i look crosseyed in this HAHAHA

service 963 has been as irritating as ever. i had to let 4 buses go before managing to get on one. my brother says its cos i'm not as skinny as him. and he has no problem boarding the 2nd bus that comes along. and my mum very funny.. told both my dad and i to get breakfast. so tml i have a lot a lot of breakfast! lol and because i went to get breakfast and decided to walk back afterwards, i had to inhale that much more hazy air and let a 173 and another 963 pass me. wahhhhhh >=

and today we were looking at flies. small fruit flies. bad for a day with new specs that dun lemme see very clearly. haha so i switched back to my 圆圆 specs so that i can see the flies haha. today then i figured wat exactly were drosophila. i think all the flies u see around food are all drosophila. and they all haf red eyes. except mutants with white eyes and black eyes. and now my fingers smell of flynap haha. not difficult to guess wat that is. despite efforts to keep the flies alive..many were *accidentally* squished and squashed by my cor lorh fingers LOL

today was promo returning day. everyone does well at promos. so it seems like everyone didn't do that well anyway. haha like at CTs, my careless mistakes din seem to make that much of a difference. at promos, every 1 mark makes a lot a lot of difference LOL. aiya. wats done is done. find it a bit over when ppl overreact.. and like dun attend class so you dun get ur paper back cos u dun wanna know how much u got yet? wat's done is done la. its only the promos. no point getting so stressed over promo results.. heh and to all those who have already secured ur 4 As, many rounds of applause should be awarded to you. cos despite promo paper generally being easier than expected (well other than bio which was severely lacking in practice anyway) it is horribly difficult to get the 4th A for the contrasting subject (most being econs). so i have won the bet! haha. wonders if james and justina wans to change terms of bet. 4 As is really quite siao. but then again..RJ ppl are siao ppl ><

For a long time i wanted to blog. i'll go to the dashboard, click create new post and stare at the 2 white boxes staring back at me. xian

anyway promos are over, ca2 is over, open house is over, now its time for practical reports 2 and 3 to be due, time to prepare OP speech (ye i know i a lil slow on this), time to prepare class CIP and time to mug for grade 8 theory exam (ugh..). I hate doing practical reports cos its so tedious. but i like finishing it cos i realise, at the end of it, that i suddenly know wat i'm doing in my pracs. Still happy that we dun haf to do practical reports back in sec 4, when we did exactly the same practicals...

the last open house perf marked the 5th time i'm performing the p2K dance. i think i wun ever ever wanna hear tt song or do tt dance again. i am sooo sick of it. i wonder if dancers ever get sick of performing. and artistes in korea perform the same song so many times..dun they ever get tired of doing the same thing, hearing and singing the same song?..maybe it depends on the quality of the dance? i guess i wun mind perfing a difficult dance more.. things that look difficult and feels better with each time its done. i wonder if there's such a dance..like uhh moto?.. how do u teach people to 自由发挥 for dance? how do u do good freestyling without coping wholesale from past routines..i liked e last version of our open house perf. i think its good to haf variations everytime e same perf is performed. maybe minwoo is like me. dun like to do the same thing all e time, so vary e dance each time its perfed.

monday is promo returning day. i'm not particularly disturbed.. dunno why ppl always cannot slp e day before returning of papers. i always wanna know how well or how badly i did, whether i screwed up worse than i thot, or din do as well as i'd expected. but tts not e point. haha e point is tt i dreamt last nite tt i got my GP paper back. n my GP tutor was cheryl li (HAHA cheryl u reading this?) LOL ye and i got 96% for GP which is how impossible HAHAHAHA i rmb wondering if i read wrongly and its supposed to be 69% (which would haf been really good for me). oh wells i cant rmb how the GP paper was like. if i pass i am happy. i think wats more disturbing is tt monday is 2 practical reports due date..and even tho i've been telling myself to start on e report, i haf barely started. and at this time, not a single report is done. this means i am really quite screwed lol.

today i went ntuc wif my mum. met sau at the fruits section haha. we agreed that we were good girls helping our mums out. haha n somehow ntuc seemed to be filled wif china ppl today. i keep hearing scary chinese all over e place. (rmb how i felt china ppl spk chinese aggressively...) and thr was this woman making a big fuss over the cost of the starfruits or sth liddat. n even said sth abt working at ntuc before (i'm sure!) n knowing guidelines n asking for e manager. wat rubbish. haii they must learn to understand tt in singapore, scammers are hard to come by (unlike at some other place tt they are familiar with..) n in places like ntuc, giant, carrefour, scamming is not possible due to competition. was funny n irritating all at e same time.. tsk tsk

and in the midst of doing my practical reports. i'm wondering why is pUC 18 pronounced as PAK 18. POOK 18 sounds nicer. lol

i'm being horribly random today..

breathe

for the first time in many many days i can breathe and my throat is not horridly painful and at least now i can talk, not like last nite X( haze is bad smog is bad smoke is bad. and wen its hazy madness and people still smoke thats even badder. happy that today i when i walked out of my room i could breathe and i can finally see the trees and birds opposite my house. seems tt this morning the birds were exceptionally loud haha. yay for no more smoke!

dance

i told my dad we did floorwork today. and i showed him my spectacular artworks on my knees. haha his first response was, why so dumb? never wear pads underneath the long pants. i said, i din even wear long pants. and everyone can guess what he said hahaha. i'm quite pleased with my injuries hahaha looks quite pro LOL so long never hurt the knees, forgotten the pain in the bathroom when u have injuries on the knees haha. then in the bathroom screaming away LOL. but mine only light 破皮 so not much extra pus or anything lol hahah reminded of how ruth and i practised our turning on the knees ending for perfect man for prom dance last year end. last time only had red patches, today so many balookoo. haha have total of 8 lol big and small haha. last time all our dance prac always wear long pants. then now 怕热 and got used to my fats wobbling everywhere so never wear le. haha so got extra art pieces after prac lol

rants of the day

if there is something i cannot stand. its when guys wear super low pants and super short tshirts so that their boxer shorts or underwear show.. you really think ur underwear so hot arh ><

***
and then arh also..old people who demand lotsa money. pls why for. at the end of the day they are split among the kids. and so smart demand from people who pay and are responsible for ur medical fees wif ur medical ailments. >< aieeee

haii i think its horrible being my dad. my bro dun really treat him very well, my mum gets easily agitated, and my grandma is like some 10 times worse than my mum and my grampa is in quite a bad state. pls cheer up.. omg feels like a damn heavy burden ugh..

aieeeeeee

***
open house in one week. my gawsh jia you everyone! we can do it. even if we may be there with aching back, dying bones and shattered muscles. dun worry we look like some bomb coolio sh*t =D we can pull thru this one week.. even if OP is how intense now (i'm sure they JUST tell us OP dry run is so soon.. rubbish) aieeeee..now its time to slp.. must wake up to do music later

终于

That post was supposed to be posted last nite. but i was too lazy to go type chinese. that song.."One-TVXQ" or "爱失控-Energy" is a song that cant go wrong. Its just whether it sounds really that much special. oh well. copied things are never as special.

Anyway exams are finally over. and everyone seems to haf spent the rest of the day in a way more exciting than i haf haha. i saw so many classes and their class outings. why i din think of one for my class. oh wells. i enjoyed my mid day with dance. so it was enjoyable enough i guess. i think post exams are only as nice as you plan it. the more things you plan, the more exciting it is. so to those with sleepovers, parties, outings, camp, have fun. haf a lot of fun =) to those who are already at outdoor buffet, and to those who are going to go, remember to enjoy yourselves. and see the fun side of things. its going to make life so much better. and i shall find some way to entertain myself, and make myself feel less like a lump of lipids.

and for those wonderful souls who actually attempted to look for the oriole, click here for a close up! =)

支持正版音乐

哇…又在电视上听到Energy推销他们的新唱片。我想我听Energy翻唱韩语歌，听得累了。不知该说他们聪明吗，他们选的歌都是韩国歌手唱得很红，销售量很高，在本地又没什么听过的歌。而唱这些歌的团体，真的是很优秀的团体，歌是好听，但又能把那首歌唱得更出色。Energy翻唱过Shinhwa的Hey, come on，还有S 的I Swear，现在又以东方神起的One出新专辑。这样一来，让人们认为歌很好听，一定要买，却又不知道歌不是他们，或他们的公司写的。好听的歌，任何人唱都会好听。但我认为，Energy把出色的歌唱平凡了。那时Shinhwa刚来本地时，唱了他们的Hey Come On，被在场许多不认识神话的观众说他们“Copy Energy”，其实是相反的！我想东方神起有一天也会来新表演，到时又听到本地人说他们“Copy Energy”，又会让我再次为他们打抱不平 〉_〈 这只是我个人的看法，听听正版，在听翻版的，一定会有不一样。

spot the birds!

in my boredom from mugging, i decided to look through my old pictures. pictures i took last year end while enjoying the scenery of my balcony =)











theres 2 in the first picture^^ see if u can spot them hahhaha theres 2 more birds below








<- theres a woodpecker here.


and there's my favourite oriole. u can see them anywhere most of the time











now try to spot the oriole from here! [click on the image to enlarge =)]

STATE OF THE ART - SHINHWA

sorri i typed a whole chunk and they all disappeared
all of it..so i will retype it another day. now its time to slp ='( i'm sure delete away all my highness ugh

ok i'm back on 911 to blog abt this. before i lose most of my memory of it.
ruth says must "announce to the whole world that Shinhwa concert was damn BBBBOOOOMMMMMBBB" and they are super HOT! and their LIVE is really good. hyesung had his usual soothing and rich voice. but the sound seemed to be too heavy on the bass and couldnt really catch his falsettos and high notes. andy's rap bit couldnt really be heard also. and he seemed to forget steps every whr >= junjin was particularly memorable with his "say hohoho!" lol he has very nice live singing and rapping and his dance was also quite bomb. super power =)=) dongwan had his usual power vocals and eric had nice rap and funny hair as always =p

and minwoo was da best ^^. (lol ruth says i'm a minwoo convert now) He's how HOT and his LIVE was super good. sing and dance for 3 songs arh..damn HIGH sia.. he did battle then let me luv you and BUMP! seeing him real live is so much better than watching HD on computer. it was so amazing when u recover from the shock its OVER even though it was quite a long segment. Then his voice dun quiver even when he jumps like WAAHHHH.. live super power. and all his dance steps super sharp and big! his live is better and powerfuller than studio =D=D everyone super 超 high during his segment aieee.. 崇拜！so 神！

They did perfect man, hey come one, hero, i pray for you, shooting star, (wish they did eusha eusha!), chunilyohon, angel, winter story, wild eyes, (oh,no wedding..), brand new, once in a lifetime, your man, how do i say, oh!... powerness i dun think i rmbed everything though. and hyesung did a solo and minwoo did his solos too... and before i realsied, eric was like"...last song.."...so faaast.. and they got show a lot of mvs also like how do i say (non remixed vers which i havent seen before), minwoo's if you, throw my fist (which i found very amusing), angel, they played the coca cola song also hey dude! haha. and there was lots of fan service =D glad i caught them =) minjin = best!

Then we bought sitting $170 tickets cos we expected ppl to stand anyway and seats are stepped and elevated. but wen e high parts came and we wanted to stand up, ppl behind (or the 上了年龄 ppl behind) asked us to sit down... like i'm sure u pay 170 bucks and dun high and dun cheer larhz..show some support mah. ur idols in front there perfing for u, must cheer them on ><>_<>.<>"when i look in ur eyes, and i see that you...oh i give my love oh! when i hold you tight. give my love through kisses..." - so stuck on it..

and just for fun..i'm singing again! =)

save the last dance

no this has got nth to do with dance
i finally finished watching it haha 20 eps over 6 days. and i'm in love with the song, both the korean and english version hahaha lost how much sleep and water over the drama.. am happy that i ended it before the term started.. now my eyes are so sore from all the sobbing lols never sobbed so much for love dramas before. must be because i watch so much at a go, haha can gather all the emotions =p
tonight will mark the end of the hols, and then PW and promos will haunt us. so it must be well spent..and i'm gonna spend it well =) it'll start tonight at 8pm.. and it'll be a wonderful 2hours aiiee =D=D

a day well spent

i'm glad to say that i haf spent my last 24 hours in the most meaningful way ever! because i've only slept 4 hours in the whole 24 hours, that means for one day, i'm not a pig! first it was chem test, and after the chem test, i felt super liberated, and as though promos is over, haha, even though i barely passed it, I PASSED! haha which i think is achievement enough since i only spent 1 1/2 hours mugging any bit of chem for the past 7 days. and that 1 1/2 hours happen to be from 1am to 230 am this morning lol. anyway after chem we went for breakfast at macs! where i stuffed myself wif mcspicy! i'm happy to say tt spicy foods are a regular in my diet now! hehe after that went to expo, for the inline skating event. quite xian at first. but after a while of stoning (which i always must do for a while), we started skating! which was good because i'm moving. and not like rotting in front of the comp again. but it was bad.. cos uhh he was kinda upset tt quite a few times thr were positions unfilled and ppl cut across the track. highly dangerous >< and there were rowdy kids around. one fell and uhh, there was a lot of blood from the mouth, i think the lip was bleeding badly. but oh well, kids pick themselves up, like they always do. anyway it was the first time i skated on wheels and i must say its quite enjoyable, like skating on ice. but its still different from the ice. i think..ppl should start learning on ice first, then learn on wheels. the technique will be better that way..i feel la, i dunno. and within today, i've figured out going forward, turning around, and going backward! so i feel good =) must celebrate achievements haha. and expo is a good place. theres book fair and food fair. i wasnt really interested in the books (contrary to common belief) haha i was interested in the food (oh the piggy part comes here) haha so me and my good fren justina went eating all the foods around and we tried the oyster meesua and i had my first try of the spicy stinky toufus (they really smell of pee and taste kinda salty, wonder why ppl like it) and most wonderfully, ginko nut orh3 ni2 (yam paste) which was absolutely wonderful because the last time i had (wonderfully tasty) yam was..too long ago for me to remember. haha so wif a nice skating experience, and a nice eating experience indeed this is a holiDAY spent like a day in the holidays should be spent haha. this holiday quite funky, haha going for high tea, and have been watching movies, tv, drama, and going to watch concert wahh..so exciting!!! =D=D

BLOW!

haha for some reason jiahui chanced upon my blog at 2.40.58 am on tuesday morning/monday night, and decided that my blog sounds super depressing and stressed out lol. do i really sound that way? haha in any case if i am stressed, it probably isnt cos i haf a lot of work to do. workload now is quite nice =) just nice to occupy me. as for my morbid dreams..its cos of the influenza book larhz ..

blogs are for ppl to blow ma..i mean who really sounds mentally sane on the blog..actually i think i more sane on the blog then i am in real life le haha blog is for ppl to chu1 qi4 one ma, at least for me it is. so if ppl like to read abt my blowing ups, then can read my blog! =p

dunno why recently suddenly remember about baby times. maybe its cos on sunday went my grampa house then played around wif my baby cousin dada =p he very cute! =) like his parents hahaha. then somehow i remembered how when i was 5 or 6 i would take a small teaspoon and slice of apple, and start kao1-ing (scraping) the apple to feed myself, so i can remember how its like when my mum fed me when i was a baby haha. and for some reason even now, i still wanna try eating that baby food that comes in a bottle wif a smiling baby's face on the sticker on the bottle. haha i remember my mum feeding that to me but dun remember how it tastes like liao. so somehow wants to try it again. then i told my mum about that once when i went to ntuc with her. and she said, "huh? why u wanna eat that again? that one is wat i fed u wif wen i was lazy to cook for u. when u were a baby, u ate until u dun wan any more of it!" haha!

somehow been dreaming that shinhwa concert's on tuesday, ie today. i dunno why.. then i dream of ruth telling me that its 3 more hours to shinhwa concert! lol

dead ppl dream - read at ur own risk

a convo wif benny...

...sunken eyes says:
i got another weird dream
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
tell me about it lols
...sunken eyes says:
this time its to do wif dead ppl
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
lols.
...sunken eyes says:
need to dig up ppl who haf been dead for many centuries
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
from dead chicken to dead people, what next?
...sunken eyes says:
so go to burial site
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
uh huh.. then?
...sunken eyes says:
then very systematic removed a block of soil,
...sunken eyes says:
such that just nice we saw the body
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
haha.
...sunken eyes says:
the body rotted away, left oni the skeleton
...sunken eyes says:
but still got eyeballs
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
lols.
...sunken eyes says:
and the eyeballs very big..stare at me
...sunken eyes says:
then i thot the thing is dead
...sunken eyes says:
but then it 'woke up'
...sunken eyes says:
and i was supposed to get some form of tissue from it
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
haha
...sunken eyes says:
(dunno why a bit of meat started growing back and got random bits of meat on the skeleton liao)
...sunken eyes says:
but then the skeleton retaliated and dun let me take the tissue
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
haha.
...sunken eyes says:
and it started grabbing me and fighting wif me..>< ...sunken eyes says: then i told ppl around me to go get those zi4 sha1 type of medicine/injection ...sunken eyes says:
turned out this was some jelly tt needed to be swallowed.
...sunken eyes says:
then i couldnt xia4 shou3 on the skeleton like thing
...sunken eyes says:
cos i thot it was very evil to kill things..its like murder
...sunken eyes says:
in the end i still fed it the jelly in some way la..i cant rmb how..
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
haha
...sunken eyes says:
it oni had teeth cant really block thej elly from entering
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
hoho
...sunken eyes says:
so it became motionless again
...sunken eyes says:
and we dumped it back into the hole
...sunken eyes says:
and put back that block of soil
...sunken eyes says:
but we still heard rumbling...
...sunken eyes says:
then i cannot rmb le
chanel - paris-new york collection says:
*laughs*
...sunken eyes says:
amazingly.. i dun rmb feeling scared or like mao4 leng3 han4 wen i was dreaming abt tt

i think tt dream must have been because of my infatuation with influenza. i was reading FLU by Gina Kolata, then they really wanted to find the 1918 flu virus that killed 40 million ppl and stopped WWI. then many bunches of ppl went to dig up ppl who had been buried in permafrost. and retrieved lung tissue from them to search for the virus. then there was one grp that led super huge grp and had all the preparations like preventing virus escape, having high tech things that analyse tissue on the spot, praying for the deceased ppl. in the end the ppl werent buried deep enough to be in the permafrost, and those ppl had like oni brain tissue and random tissues left. scary science

lecturers

good questions are questions that show understanding and seek further knowledge.

good lecturers are those that makes students understand quickly (almost immediately) such that students are able to come up wif good qns on their own. good students ask good questions. good lecturers need not think of good questions for students. good lecturers dun provide answers to the good questions that they pose.

semi good lecturers are those that may not teach tt well, but students still understands partially and know wat kind of qns to ask to seek accurate and complete knowledge.

unfortunately many lecturers out there are not good lecturers. bad lecturers are those who don't teach well, where students hardly understand, and do not know wat qns to ask to understand wat is taught.

lecturers should be screened for their teaching capabilities before being allowed into the profession. and even experienced lecturers should be screened. and this screening should be done regularly, even after being allowed into the profession, observations should still be carried out to ensure the lecturer is still of good quality. sometimes quality decreases with age

Re: oof kaypohs again

yea..whatever i take up i will definitely see it through.. i just get upset when i haf to drop it halfway. (i can't believe i haf problem dropping pharm chem Xl) anyway i was bugging u for open house plans also cos i wanted to know if it was possible for me to go for assoc ex. but now its impossible liao so may as well be occupied and wun xian. but must give ppl chance.. (eek i must keep reminding myself tt..) anyway.. ppl speculating abt wats gg to happen for open house also.. and i was wondering if everyone knows tt there is no more publicity. (this is wat i mean by news in street is spread by whispers from 1 person to another and not formally announced) so maybe wanna let them haf a peek? and i was wondering if any grp doing their steps revision or thinking of outfit le.. cos if change grp then will need to rethink. has everyone been informed of the change of grps?

btw i got no more orlingjoo..haha i mistook carrot juice for orange. and i cant believe that i couldnt tell there was a difference in taste when i first drank it. i finished like 3/4 mug of it, even though i used to be unable to take carrot juice. haha i thot to myself tt yay my mum found orange juice without the pulp. hahaha. then the 2nd time i went to get the juice, i realised it had carrots on the carton... LOL

oof kaypohs again

okkk i know im not supposed to be here so soon after my last post. ahahaha. BUT! i am. heh.

Sorry for blowing yesterday. Was pretty amazed by how I blew up. Haven't done that for some time >< I think the pent up frustration about that toot thing and a few other things finally needed an outlet to bamm. Kinda disappointed in myself for being misunderstood by so many people. And also for not being able to help them. Oh well. It'll pass.

I get wat u mean in ur post (peers below). Seriously, 拿得起就要懂得放下. I know I've told u before that once committing to stuff, we shouldn't complain abt the sacrfices and hard work right? Cuz we made those choices. U'll definitely enjoy and no doubt, gain, from those research-on-i-dunno-what-chim-thingies programmes u have at the end of the year.

Dun worry abt street, I won't put u in charge of upcoming stuff so u wun hafta stress over that too. 不要催我 abt Open hse le hor :p , I hafta make extra arrangements for the time when I'm gonna be gone. I may be gone even longer than expected- haf cip camp that week too. Good chance for streeters to grow ba.

Must learn to trust other pple's abilities more k? U'll never know till u've seen them try. Dun worry I won't be back here anytimeee sooon.

Drink more orling joo!

<33 oof.

take it all in a stride

I think I very bad at making decisions. And I've always had my cake and i ate it. haii. I feel very sad, that i havent been going for odac training even though i told mr shah that i will be free. like very 对不起 odac and mr shah. somehow i missed out h3 bio.. or i completely dismissed it and decided i wun get it. and i decided long ago that i wun get the TLL attachment. so now i'm occupied, and quite busied. i was quite glad tt mr shah let me be associate odacian, but i guess he had the foresight to see that i wun stay, whatever the reasons may be. a foresight that i din haf. and i kept bugging odac to organise assoc ex, now got ex le but i'm filled. i'm filled in every holiday now, i think i din expect to fill them so fast. as much as i'd like to participate, i know that i shouldnt and hence cant, not when there are others who need to go for it more than me. and i haf a responsibility for other things that are going on as well. if i go, then i dunno who can fill the role. (or is that just my lack of confidence in other people again?)(and will you all feel secure when 2 vital people are gone?) i wonder wats the definition of an assoc odacian then, if i dun participate in assoc activities.. and next year's nite walk will be a dream. i think i should just come to terms with my decision to leave. and live with it. you can look back, but you cant turn back time. easy to say difficult to do.

Re: oof says hi =p

no problem, the blog is for ranting anyway. see the title? ^^ =) i think 不要想太多 la.so confuzzling then dun think lorhz.. think until get headache only. then unsatisfied cos no answer. 现在已经这么多东西要想了，thinking abt others only deplete lots of 精神 and 力气. meanwhile dun think until so headache la. ur analysis may not be tt accurate also, sometimes u 摸不着 dun mean they are insecure wat..aiyai i also dunno. i most not expert at this matter. anyway just plan objectively, and dun stress. well try not to. i try to help u in watever ways i can think of, even though i not very good at figuring out how to help u ><

oof says hi

Thanks dongfei, for giving me this place to come rant. I dare not write in my diary because I know once I start I won't be able to stop. Then I won't have to sleep liao... and screw up tml's reedeeculous performance. lol.

Been wondering about how some people can get so strange that they're completely not understandable. Their actions, behaviour, words... just contradict each other so much that it's confuzzling. Then there's that strange way of thinking, and their 摸不着的 character. Do they even know that they're so complex? Do they notice the loopholes? Or are they trying to hide something- a side of themselves that they're insecure with. I've already done what I can to try to understand people like that... to some of them, 我真的投降了.

Somtimes when things fly by so fast, I tend to think my feelings don't matter anymore. There's so many other things and people to watch out for, it's like I shouldn't be indulging in what I feel. 有时候想多了更累。更何况许多事都没有解答的。

STREET jia you! Tml's little perf is gonna be some bomb man... bomb in a different way. I'll try very very veryyy hard not to burst out laughing while doing the chestthrusthipthrust-ahahaha-wigglefingers step.

<33 Oof.

"chicken dream" - benny

i dun feel like going to school. because lectures and tutorials seem useless to me. and i haf other things that need to be done. such that going for lectures seem to be a waste of time, cos i dun listen and end up sleeping. which is horrible. i wish i can dun go to school, and only return when i've settled whatever needs to be settled.

and recently i've been sleeping too much, against my will. and when i sleep i dream. and i remember my dreams. and they freak me. just this afternoon, i dreamt that i was cracking an egg, and the egg shell was not hard like it usually is, its like biscuit that has absorbed too much water vapour. when i got it to open, out rolled a dead frozen chick, contorted in the most weird position, with all its feathers wet and hard. freaked me out. and i can still see it distinctly.

been in horrible moods lately. getting pissed off and tired very easily. ugh theres still essay outline to do.

singapore public transport system

i think the online transport guide sucks. u gotta use so many of it together. the transitlink's eguide is one of the most useless. it tells u wat roads buses go to, wat buses there are on the roads, and what buses there are at interchanges. but it doesnt tell u wat buses there are near mrts (some mrts dun haf interchanges near them) and dun tell u how to get from one place to another. since its an eguide, may as well tell u how exactly to get from one place to another rite? oh and if u are going to click on a link at transitlink pages, rmb to right click, open in new window, because there is no such thing as "back". u gotta resend ur information which takes damn long.

sbs transit's internet guide is slightly better, cos theres a place to place option. but its really weird, cos u haf to submit only one bus stop and not just the road name. or if u give the landmark name, they insist u must choose one of the bus stops. and for some reason i dunno of, they dun tell u the nearest mrt from that landmark. u gotta use transitlink's eguide under places of interest, and not all places fall under places of interest.

and then they give u the shortest travel time bus route, but it usually consists of a few transfers. and the travel time does not include waiting time. perhaps other than giving the range of waiting time, it may be good to give the mean waiting time, cos a waiting time of 5-13 minutes doesnt tell me if its frequent or not. so travel time should have the mean waiting times added.

the way the sbs transit presents the bus routes also very weird, i think they should use a map on top of telling u the block number and road name. sometimes pictures make more sense than numbers and letters.

i think the best guide is streetdirectory.com because it gives u the maps and the direction. my incompetency in using that webpage must be the reason why i cant search for place to place bus/mrt routes directly without searching for the map of the start/end place first. the only flaw in this website is there is too many things and advertisements on the web page and that makes it highly distracting, disorganised and takes too long to load. the font that the page uses is exactly the same as their advertisements sumore. ads should never come in the middle of words. aiyaiyai

i shall talk abt THE transport system another time. i'm getting too shagged getting pissed by the guides.

GNDB

so i went for girls nation dance battle today. was quite disappointed by the turnout. i thot there would be many many ppl gathered there to watch. turns out only those ppl who happened to be there came down to watch or came out of their shops to watch. maybe not enough advertising ba. dunno leh, but they were giving away free tickets to finals at zouk, which cost 15 bucks and the qns they ask are easy, but no one really wanted to answer. i couldnt. i cant get inside zouk.

it started with breaking by fuyou. and the crowd was how sad. fuyou was really good and they did lotsa really cool moves, and theres one of them who's very young, and when he came out to do those stunts, u would expect there to be many cheers for him. but aiya how sad - the audience is a sucky audience and dunno how to respond. even after the whole item, theres no like loud loud cheers and lots lots clapping.

then the show went on. theres 6 teams there and they all quite zai la. this round they just do their own choreoed thing and one of the teams will be ousted. theres no freestyling or any fancy thing, just they go up and dance to their song. yutaki was one of the judges. the other is sheila who's best gal dancer from some i dunno which comp.

the dances were super energy. and it really shows how much hair can help u bloat ur actions. then they also very sharp. but cos i was a lil on the wrong end of the height scale, and there were many photographers who were clogging the front areas, so i cant really see all of them. most groups got 3 ppl, then some had 4 one had 5. tt means everyone of them had to be really good and it was easy to compare ppl within the group. most of the groups had 2 ppl who really stood out from the rest. i think it comes out in their attitude/expression. ppl with the right attitude haf the necessary stage presence that makes them (look) better. and its really yux when u do ur dance without the right expression, and the other dancers have tt look. i think expression distinguishes the better from the not so good ones immediately.

i had hoped tt there would be more groups, but ok la, quite exciting. each group had their powerful side, and each group chose a different aspect to focus on. anyway i sorta know which group will be out le. the finals is at zouk and i do expect there to be more exciting things there. too bad tt i'm too young. (on a side note, the taxi driver who picked me up said i looked like i'm sec 1 ugh.. so even if i wanna sneak i cant)

hypothermia

you feel a cramp coming up in your stomach, and you feel a weakness in your legs building up. you keep going cos home is not too far away. until you see that ur vision is slowly going down.. and you realise that you cannot really see anymore. you sit by the grass resting ur head on ur knee, hoping it will make you feel better. you feel as though there is a packet of ice behind your head, at the back of your neck, behind your ears, and you feel as though there is cold sweat trickling out of your ears, and you feel cold all over.. you wait for the cold behind your head to go away, and gather all your strength to make a call for help.

help came but you could not pull yourself up yet. you wait a little longer and start to take a few steps to the nearest bus stop. and you feel your vision going away again so you walk quickly until you finally make your way to the bus stop where you collapsed into the seat and huddled yourself together for warmth. you try to gather enough warmth until you feel that you will be able to take the 1 minute of cold on the bus ride to the next bus stop.

after getting off the bus, you took stops at the gate of the estate as well as at the door of the building, and after a long 25 minutes, you manage to get back home. this route usually takes 5 minutes by walking.

I'm so thankful that my brother was awake and around
life is precious. treasure it

I hope you dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out Reconsider
Give the heavens above More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who)
I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
credits: http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/gloworm/dance.html

thanks for the song

另一张脸

刮了一阵大风 莫名其妙变天
无缘无故心情灰
站在窗前感觉就算世界少了我
其实也无所谓

蠢蠢欲动黑暗那一面
不停的在变形 吞掉我的极限
陷在又冷又黑的悲观里
就像出了另一张脸

看着这张陌生的脸 自己都讨厌
觉得心情起伏不定 没有人了解
觉得孤独想大声哭 觉得活得累
觉得一切一切 全都虚伪

我就像个傻子一样 笑着过一天
想要看着你的微笑 相信有明天
想要留下那一分钟 快乐的感觉
偏偏这张脸在我 意志脆弱 无奈 又胡思乱想
害怕时间出现 不了解

看不见 灰的脸 我的脸

I think this song is a wonderful song. Not cos i'm feeling like some depressed dejected blob now and that I can identify with the feelings.. but rather how sun yanzi brings out the whole angsty feeling in this laidback jazzy piece. Sounds like a paradox in itself. The accompaniment sorta paints the scenery of walking down some lonely, fallen leaves filled french road. The words run over quite fast and that usually gives a feeling of someone so stressed and troubled yet it matches perfectly with the freestyle jazzy accompaniment. And then the melody.. I think she's such a pro to manipulate her voice so well. she switches her voice from normal tone to the false high tone at the tails of notes without losing the power. Usually when people switch to false tones, the power of the voice dips, and gives the song a lack of uniformity in terms of timbre. However, in this song, the false tone bits and the switches helps to bring out the 不知所措 feeling without sounding too busy for a relatively relaxed accompaniment. And the lyrics are nice without being too chim. Some pro some pro. The song writer's a pro, the composer and arranger both pros, and the singer's some pro. wonderful piece.

its my 2nd time blogging today.dunno why blog so much. maybe cos i'm still pissed with my mum.ugh.

for some reason that i dunno of, i decided to come up with a list of things that i want. its want, cos i can live without them, even tho life could be so much better with them.

1. my converse jacket. i've no idea how i lost it. its not like its damn damn pretty or what. but its useful. and somehow got some attachment to it liao. and i wan it back. of course the horrid person who abducted it wun return it..i should get another for myself soon..

2. a memory stick. if possible, a camera. i think that many times there are nice moments that shouldnt be forgotten. like witnessing a tree being cut down. or seeing a cockatoo or bat fly pass my window. and my home camera always no memory stick. and most of the time also no batt. some useless camera. and my dad hates to bring camera out. so i really wan my own. so when i go overseas, i dun haf to rely on my dad's camera. well he dun trust me with it anyway. so i always go overseas with no cam. how sad.

3. heels. cos i haf no heels. and i dun look good in heels. but shoes dun suit all clothes and occasions. and heels haf their uses too...sometimes elevation is quite impt

4. a watch. i think i have no luck with watches. new ones always spoil like not too long after they were bought. =S i've been relying on my handphone. which can get quite useless when its exam time. and hp watches are not as accessible as a wrist watch. so like Mr Jeff, the guy at the ST Uni talk thing said, ppl should get watches.

5. a smaller bottle. this one is too big. it lasts me for 2 weeks. which is quite disgusting. and theres no loop to hold it. ok i'm being picky.

why liddat. this year is horrid year to get anything. cos i lose all of them. esp if someone else get for me. and some things become quite useless if u dun bring them out. and bringing them out means risking losing them. ahh

i best. i was gonna get them for myself. but i spent the money on shinhwa concert already. but its worth it.. its prolly their only concert in singapore, since they are growing old, and will be gone soon. so its worth going for the concert.. except that i would need heels

*

i dun understand. is it very hard to trust me? or is it just my parents. or is it just my mum. aieeee

fireworks!

its minggy's bday today!
and its a very extra school day. that ended super super late. but it was such an extra school day, that ruth and i were some-bomb-dam high today that ppl thot i was a lil more than just retarded...

been so in the mood to celebrate national day lately. maybe cos this year i ish perfed twice for national day and i watched ndp and i love the theme song and i went to ndp.org.sg to download all the past year national day songs as well and i sang along with all the gusto thingies..hahahha

i really like this year's theme song's melody. (the words arent very good, and the english lyrics are quite crap. the chinese one's nicer) and i like kaira's voice. its very shu2 fu2 to hear. been singing it for the whole day. funny how i only sing it after national day itself lol.

and today as a conclusion to the festival of national day, we went to watch ze fireworks! =))
ok it wasnt a conclusion to the festvial of national day, it was celebration of minggy's bday!
we reached like 1 hour early and managed to get quite good spot... until people started crowding around us and we couldnt really see very well and i pitied all the kids around cos they were also having a hard time looking. but haha we were on slightly elevated ground. which is good cos after we stand up, we get full view of the fireworks!

and it was amazing. not the fireworks but how u see a sea of cameras and handphone cameras in the foreground of all the fireworks.. its like watching from those screens is more exciting than the real thing itself. anyway the fireworks were good.. and i luv the sawdust bits that came down ever so slowly. oh pretty pretty. golden ones were the bestest.

and we went for icecream after that. which we queued for 15 mins for and waited for half an hour before they served us.. haiyaiyai. and the ice cream that came was like half melted and all liquidy.. aieesh. we stayed out till kinda late..except i din find it that late.. its just our parents who thought "omg why is my daughter coming home at such late times"..

and my mum went to imagine wat could i be doing that made me come home so late.. haii she has wild imaginations. which were reflected in her loud loud screamings at me when i got home.. eesh

written 12aug 00:25am

翅膀

同样的机场 不同时间
同样的咖啡 不同味觉
同样的我和我都少了一些
看飞机划过天空不见了

用你给我的翅膀飞 我懂这不是伤悲
再高都不会累 我们都说好了
用你给我的翅膀飞 我感觉已够安慰
乌云也不再多 我们也不为谁掉眼泪

空气里藏着你的香味
回忆里躲着你的眼泪
最后拥抱的温暖还有一些
我拖着行李往前一只走

看一看回忆 是云朵一朵朵的飘过
若想要回头 就无法翱翔

乌云也不再多 我们也不为谁掉眼泪

Fashion shows

those that tv mobile keep showing from 6pm onwards on channel newsasia and it bores the hell out of me.

i think fashion shows are stupid and impractical. firstly, the models dun look good. its not like they haf the wonderfullest of bods. i mean they look like they came from the parts of africa where they dun have enough food, and were painted white like wat happened to michael jackson. their face look like barbie dolls come alive, or like life sized moving wax figurines. and their legs are like sticks. so skinny that their hips look too big for them. and their torso is too puny too. and wen they wear low cleavage things, it looks quite sad cos its not like they got very much in the middle. they seriously look malnourished. and i think they look so hostile and dao. they could at least smile in their pose. or are they supposed to look damn bu shuang and kiampah in that apparently very nice outfit?.. and the designers design impractical clothes. they are designed to fit tt particular model. meaning it is how small and tight and no normal human will be able to wear that. besides, i dun think tt their designs are very nice either. maybe i just dun haf an eye for design and fashion. too high class for me.

*

today is horrible. i feel like my brain has a shortage of blood and my lungs are in some compression machine. and i try to breathe deeply but it makes the pain in the head and the lungs even worse. argh. i wonder wats wrong with me. it feels like my blood vessels have all constricted. but i'm sure i dun haf a heart problem, and i do think tt my heart is pumping well enough. at least it is on normal days other than today.

Autistic kids

are so special. i think i wanna do cip wif autistic kids someday. they get hard to handle sometimes. and things usually go slower and it requires lots of patience to deal with them. they think in absolute logic and are very capable in drawing and putting things in perspective. i wonder wat goes on in an autistic child and how he thinks through things. do all autistic children think similarly? do they find being autistic an illness? how does an autistic child feel when being treated like a normal human in human circumstances? wat is it that makes it so hard for an autistic child to be in the same environment as a normal child?

原来

街灯绊住我眼前下一步
拉长的影子嘲弄的回顾
电话亭里留着你留话
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺得跟着我难分难离

原来最寂寞的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己

我也会不留一点痕迹..

i want to thank my parents. for sponsoring printer ink tanks. we use it like drinking water =X

有时候...

有时候，当有人说要做某样东西，却没做到，你会觉得，他只是口头说说罢了，没有诚心的。有时候，有人深深相信，不管做什么，只要定下心一定要做，再忙也一定能找出时间做。但有时候，事情不在自己的掌控之中，怎样都做不成，也只好让机会一次又一次的擦肩而过，心中却是一次一次的一阵一阵的酸。这叫做“心有余而力不足”吗？总是觉得那句话用太多了，已经不能表现那种感情了。

有时候，在生活的喧嚣，时间流逝的太快，来不及整理好自己的心情，直到发现我们已渐渐的失去自我。在这快速的生活里，人们为了应付社会种种的要求，早晚奔波，每个人的生活都大同小异，性格是否也会变得大同小异？能像陈子谦（Royston Tan) 那样，勇敢走出自己的道路，闯出自己的天空的人，已寥寥无几。许多年小时的志愿，都留在年小时的岁月。要挽回，却得费那么多精力，赶着追上时间的我们，有足够剩余的精力吗？

有时候，生活中会有那么一些时候，心中就只有快乐，也不知这莫名的快乐从何处来。但快乐总是短暂的，而快乐时，心中深知，快乐后，紧接着的一定是一段心情消沉的日子。消沉的日子，也总是特别久...

happy day

very happy day. must be cos i started out laffing a lot and a lot. hahahaha.. for known and unknown reasons, today is a very happy day. this means i can start adding stress on myself.. its finding me anyway. tired nite. yawn.. shoot. cant slp now. got to do work..=(

thanks to all who stayed to finish up the dance prac! street has a long way to go =)

ever felt like u were walking on a very tight rope and u can fall anytime?
ever felt like ur brain was some rubber band and u can see the ends breaking away and its about to snap anytime?
ever felt like u're so screwed theres no way life could go on?
gah why must parents take such drastic measures sometimes? when the child goes insane, do u go insane too?
why sometimes parents just dun understand?
why do parents sometimes take steps that makes things worse and dun solve problems?
why do u sometimes feel u haf no whr to explode into?
wth shoulda expected tt

try this!

i think this is very interesting:

wanna know answer can ask me =)

and so i'm 17 years 1 hour and 11 mins old now.
thanks for all the well wishes! even though it didnt start out tt well i'm happy it ended well. just so happened that one of the most stressful days landed on that fateful day of the year. thanks justina for the very sweet note! thanks gerald for the very cute spectabled baby pooh lol =) and thanks all who said/msged/msned me "happy birthday". and thanks ruth for ending it nicely. makes me feel like got yuan2 man3 jie2 shu4. =) whoah. another year of yong3 gan3. must jia you

bus bomb

wahh..... today wait 20 mins and 157 still dun wanna come..thot that only happens for 970..
so hopped onto 156 cos i was going to fall asleep liao and needed to sit/lie down. woke up just in time to get off (woke up twice in between thinking i had missed my stop.. but i should not forget that 156 takes the longest routes to get to places.) but due to disturbed sleep of course not enough. then wait like 40 mins for 970 to come. this kind of waiting time can fall into coma and still wun miss bus -_- horrible thing is that after all the waiting, the bus comes FILLED =( so still must stand. and the bus driver like in some kind of rush, overslept or set out too late la, then desperately trying to reach destination on time, speed brake speed brake.. =S and some people just dun know the meaning of sit down so that people at the back can get to the door... theres like empty seats everywhr and they just refuse to sit down. ya la..i know u are some chopstick..but i am like 1 big drumstick how u wan me to get past u... so had to squeeze and rearrange lipids and somehow get thru.. eesh

Xinzi wakes up for lunch at the same time parents walked out for breakfast... my bro asked me to eat his breakfast for lunch cos he din want his breakfast lol soggy mee pok haha

I realised tt in the last session of dance prac i oni covered 2 eights..thats quite pathetic yux. must get them to learn more and if cannot rmb must write steps down.

After an afternoon of suntanning, my S1 bro came to ask me math qn. he said its a very difficult math qn.. and i think he went to ask my dad le then come ask me. and i solved it faster than my dad lol. its not tt difficult la. the qn is 3^(96) - 1 has 2 factors between 700 and 800. What are the 2 factors? the answers are 730 and 728. go solve it very fun =)

N i cannot believe this. france won brazil?!! like wah..wat happened to brazil??!! now no match to see liao. lol nvm la, haha england is out so i happy.. so sadistic..><